Nirvanna The Band The Show The Podcast
A show where we deep dive into every episode of Nirvanna The Band The Show in an attempt to book Matt Johnson and Jay McCarrol as guests.
Nirvanna The Band The Show The Podcast
Viceland S01E06: The Boy AKA My Chemical Rivoli
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Hop in everybody, we’re going to Canada’s Wonderland! Surely nothing could go wrong. Other topics include My Chemical Romance’s chokehold on early YouTube, the nuanced history of the Kew Motor Inn, Hulk Hogan’s Make-a-Wish fabrications, and a surprisingly long conversation about the merits of the Twilight films. Also, Michelle commits a devastating faux pas.
Things we promised to put in the show notes:
Email: nirvannathepod@gmail.com
Bluesky: @nirvannathepod.bsky.social
Instagram: @nirvannathepod
Voice memos: www.speakpipe.com/nirvannathepod
When I was a young boy, some strange men took me to Canada's wonderland to make a wish come true. They said, Mike, when you grow up, would you be the savior of our plans to play the Rivoli? Just know one day they'll leave you on the ground outside the emergency room and run away like enormous cowards. Hello and welcome to Nirvana the Band, the show. The podcast. Best we've ever done it.
KitBest we've ever done it. We are Nirvana the Band.
MichelleThis is a podcast where we watch and talk about Nirvana, the band, the show. My name is Michelle, and I'm joined by my two lovely co-hosts. I'm Kit.
SteveAnd I'm Steve.
MichelleAnd I spent the last 48 hours practicing really hard and trying to remember how piano notes work to play a version of the opening to Welcome to the Black Parade. That I'm pretty sure that neither of you could hear. But please know that it was pitch perfect and excellent.
SteveI think Kit just passed out from Glee.
KitSo I I will say that even though the audio of your beautiful piano playing did not come through, as I was watching you play the notes, that song is so ingrained in my psyche that I was just like, I know exactly where we're going. Take me on this ride. I want to go to this parade.
MichelleYeah.
KitHaunting Melody. How we do it. I mean, amazing now.
unknownYeah.
SteveI mean, feeling good. We we joined the Black Parade.
MichelleSteve, are you familiar with that song? I know that you have at many points over the course of our friendship expressed your disdain for chemo music.
SteveI have admitted publicly that my chemical romance may not be my jam, but they got the juice, and I like that Gerard Way fella.
MichelleYeah, we love Gerard.
SteveHow could you have escaped the Black Parade?
KitUh don't die, number one.
MichelleYeah, mostly don't die. So I think all of us have so far escaped it.
KitThat's what you think.
SteveMaybe not kid. It was everywhere for a while there. I had a friend, they have now had it covered up out of embarrassment, but had the lyrics of the black parade tattooed as a full sleeve.
KitThe full song?
SteveLike the whole like first chunk of it.
MichelleThat's crazy. What I just recited.
KitThe actual words to the song.
SteveMm-hmm. It was weird. They knew our podcast was coming in the future.
KitSo like the very last line of the sleeve was listen to Nirvana the Band, the show, the podcast.
SteveYeah. And that's what gave me the idea, you know?
KitYeah.
SteveEven though Nirvana the Band, the show, you know. Anyway, this bit's falling apart.
unknownBut no.
SteveNo, the Black Parade. The Black Parade was inescapable. Uh yeah, I heard it a billion times.
KitThe Black Parade music video was the first video I saw on YouTube.
SteveOoh.
KitYeah.
SteveReally?
KitYeah, because part of it had leaked or was previewed or something. I'm a huge My Chemical Romance fan. My best friend of many, many years I met on the MyCombo.
SteveIs Gerard Way? Sorry. No.
KitIs uh a friend of mine I have known for many years. We met on the My Chemical Romance message boards. Um Incredible. Yes, and we've been friends ever since. Um, but yeah, there was a leak of the music video, at least a scene of it, and I remember typing in the link and being like, What is YouTube? Because it was that early days, and it was the first YouTube video I ever watched was the little shitty clip of the Black Parade music video.
MichelleI don't think it was the first thing I watched, but one of my most treasured memories of early YouTube is um of watching people someone made a bunch of they took the game The Sims, maybe The Sims 2, and and set a bunch of videos to songs, and one of them was um Helena by My Chemical Romance, Helena.
KitHell yeah.
MichelleUh and it's a very treasured memory that I as soon as we get off this call, I'm gonna try to go find.
KitAnd send to us, correct? To watch.
MichelleOh, of course.
SteveIt's going in the show notes if it still exists on YouTube. Fuck, when you asked how we were doing, neither one of us said I'm not okay. And I think that's a failure.
KitWe gotta go.
MichelleWe gotta start it over.
KitGotta start over.
MichelleStart the whole podcast over, go back to Web Series episode one. Steve, don't you have an update on uh on the Q Motor in for us?
SteveOh my god, yes, I do. As you both know, I am a student of history. I love reading history and nonfiction. And uh I did a deep dive on the Q Motoran.
MichelleWhat did you find in the archives?
SteveWell, first of all, they were listed in the green book. Um Huh. Yeah, in the Hit film green book? Yeah, the hit film. That's what most people.
MichelleUm sorry, I'm really sorry.
KitWhich room specifically?
SteveOkay, so for those who Is it the 9-11 room?
KitI was talking about 9-11. I know.
SteveOkay. So for those people who don't know, the Green Book was a guide for um black Americans traveling uh during segregation and uh other parts of uh our horrific American history. The Q Motorin was listed in the Green Book for three different years, 1963, 1964, and 1966. Turns out it was built uh in 1962 to be part of the world's fair tourists to come in. It was like a fancy place to be. There was a restaurant critic that lived in the hotel for a while and boosted the restaurant. We made fun of eating a chicken parm sandwich at the Q Motorin. Apparently, their lunch room called the Harlequin Room uh was a happening place with great food. Sounds like it's still a happening place. John Lindsay's mayoral cabinet met there. I don't know who that is.
MichelleWho is John Lindsay? I could I can use context clues if you're gonna be able to do it.
SteveFormer New York City mayor John Lindsay, yes. Uh one of the big ones. He he had cabinet members that had meetings there uh at the Q Motor Inn, and apparently it wasn't until the late 60s that it became a place for fucking.
MichelleWhen did they put the animal mural on the wall?
KitYeah.
SteveThey don't know uh when all of the theme rooms went in, but it appears to be in the 70s or 80s. There's people weren't chronicling this back then.
KitBecause they're too busy fucking?
SteveYeah. But um, they changed owners a few times. But there are ads. I can link it in the show notes if you want me to. Uh, from 1983, there's advertisements that say 75 newly decorated sumptuous rooms, each with color TV, stereo, music, AMFM radio. Specially designed safari, waterfall, love nest, California, Oriental, Fantasia rooms, and mirrored sweetheart suites. They had fresh flowers in every room that you could take home.
KitWow.
SteveAnd uh, it was a love hotel. There was another ad that said, From outer space to your luxurious room. The magic is love. Now for the first time ever, satellite transmission for sports movies and more with no extra costs.
KitSatellite transmission for my my sports, not to reach my home planet.
SteveYeah. In 1985, yeah, they advertised that they had satellite TV. They still had the free flowers. Uh, and if you showed the ad with the satellite disc, you got a free gift.
SPEAKER_00What was the gift?
SteveDidn't say.
SPEAKER_00It was a dildo, right?
SteveIt had to be.
MichelleI think we're gonna have to um invent a time travel machine to get back to when the Q motor in was um for political events and not just Fucking. And not just making love.
KitBut I feel like even a political event, there's like a lot of fucking, probably, right?
SteveMm-hmm. Without a doubt. So here's the from outer space to your luxurious room. The magic is love ad. Look at these two lovely people.
MichelleThe magic is love.
SteveThis is their dope ass menu for the Harlequin room. Scary. Oh no, it's a bunch of squiggly lines.
KitI think that says ah!
MichelleThat old-fashioned clown is screaming.
SteveThey had appetizers like chop liver and entrees like sirloin steak. Here's the tax map of the humotor. It like I learned a lot about the commute motor in from uh, I believe this is the University of Virginia.
MichelleFrom UVA. That's so weird.
SteveThey are the only place where you can really find a ton of info about it.
MichelleSo oh, they have a green book like archival project. Okay. They're not just documenting the exotic hotels of Queens.
SteveSo anyway, I just want to say we pooped all over the Q Motoran. And uh yeah.
KitI didn't poop on it. I thought it was great.
SteveWe were talking about how no one would eat there.
MichelleWell, the food did not look good. I still wouldn't eat there. Not because of the history, because I don't want to pay $40 for a fried hamburger in mozzarella sticks.
SteveReal. Anyway, I think that's gonna be the last we talk about the Q Motoran on this podcast. I just wanted to apologize that I didn't realize they had such a long history.
MichelleA fuck. We'll see if the should we put the Q Motor in on the whiteboard to see if they accept your apology?
SteveNo, I'm answering my own question, absolutely not.
KitYep.
SteveShould we call and ask if they uh do podcast sponsorships?
KitYes. Holy shit, yes. I would love to read your ad, Q Motor in.
SteveThis is the one way Kit agrees to do an ad.
KitThe only way I will agree to do an ad.
SteveOh my god. Um since we haven't recorded released last week's episode yet, I'm very interested to see if we get any feedback of people saying, Why are you talking about the sex motel so much? I don't think anyone's gonna be surprised.
KitYeah, Kevin Spacey had like a whole arc this season with us.
SteveSo do Kit, you said to me off mic, uh, that maybe we should do a live show at the Q Motor in.
MichelleI did say that. I'm not above it. When you say live show at the Q Motor, and you're imagining that we have an audience at the Q Motor in.
SteveWe're just gonna go to the restaurant.
MichelleOh, okay. Do you have a little stage in there?
SteveI don't know. We can find out.
KitStop showing photos. This is an audio medium. Gros. Is that a condom?
SPEAKER_05The duck under a mattress. I'm upset.
MichelleWhy would they put it there? I'm upset. You have upset me.
SteveOkay, enough Q Motorin. Should we check in on the whiteboard? Yeah, I guess so.
KitPlease.
SteveKid, has the Q Motoran agreed to sponsor us yet?
KitSadly, no, but I did just follow them like three seconds ago.
SteveDo you know $88 for a jacuzzi room for four hours? Not the worst. That feels pretty steep to me, but also You can't do the ad read now.
KitWe don't have the money in hand from Q Motoran.
SteveFine, I'm just saying Tiara ten months ago on Google. That's how I get them. I'm gonna send them an invoice.
KitWe did your ad, like you asked. Just gaslight them.
SteveThat guy has a shotgun behind him there, and he's gonna use it on me. Anyway, uh Matt and Jay, have we heard from them? Not yet. Jared or Luca?
SPEAKER_05No. Maybe.
SteveNo. Jay's dad?
MichelleNo. I feel like maybe we should take him off. Maybe maybe maybe we're bordering on harassment. Is this to ceremoniously erasing someone from the board song?
SteveYeah. Anyway, he's gone.
KitUh Canada Arm. Please answer me Canada Arm. I keep going onto the roof of my building and shouting at the sky, and yet nothing.
MichelleDo you have the little app on your phone that tells you when the space station is passing above you? No, I just kind of wing it. Maybe it you maybe you just have to time the requests correctly.
KitYou're right.
MichelleWhen you see it, zoom in by up there.
KitOkay. I'll I'll tell I'll look for that app.
SteveJust shoot a gun wildly into space, see if it hits them.
KitWhen I go back to that. I will do that.
SteveYou know, I've always wanted to see a final destination in space. And I feel like the Canada arm can have some real fun in that movie. Riping arms off.
MichelleYeah, I think so. Maybe the Canada Arm is what threw that chunk of a SpaceX rocket at the moon. Good job, Canada Arm. I don't know if it has the the power needed for that.
SteveIt has the power. Kate, you watched Masters of the Universe. You loved it.
KitAnyway, um I did not.
SteveIt's okay. And finally, Verna Herzog and Connor Ratliff. I haven't heard from them.
MichelleMaybe if we just wander into the cave from Cave of Dreams, we'll find Verna Herzog there waiting for us. It's true.
SteveAnd maybe we go to a taping of George Lucas Talk Show with the sign that just says, Come on, Nirvana the Pod and then get arrested.
MichelleYou think they would arrest us for that? Maybe.
SteveI'm pretty sure. Probably.
MichelleNo signs allowed at George Lucas Talk Show against the law. We are here today too.
SteveDo you ever think it's really weird that they made a movie called The Boy and then they made a sequel called Brahms Colon The Boy 2 instead of just calling it The Boy Two?
MichelleI have no clue what you're talking about.
SteveYou don't know about the boy movies?
unknownNo.
SteveThere's a woman.
KitThat's the one where the boy's in the walls, right?
SteveYes.
KitI fucking hate that movie. That's one of my very scary movies. Yes. This is one of my very specific fears of like people living in my walls. And so when it turned out that he was living in the walls, I was like, fuck this actually. Fuck this so much.
SteveAnd then they made a sequel. And because the guy's name is Brahms, they just called it Brahms Colon The Boy 2. Yeah.
MichelleThe boy's name is Brahms? Yes. Stupid. That is why for a boy, yeah.
SteveNo, but like, why would you call the sequel? It's being like, die hard. And then the sequel's John McLean, Colonel Die Hard 2. That sounds great.
KitWell, Brahms is the boy. They're letting you know.
SteveIn case you were wondering from the first film.
KitYeah, in case you were confused.
SteveAnyway, whenever I pull up this episode, I think, hey, isn't it weird that they named it Brahms Colon the Boy 2?
MichelleI think with that information, that is that is quite strange. Um, but we're not here to discuss that boy. We're here to discuss a different thing.
SteveHe's in the walls and he's giant.
MichelleStop saying that. A regular-sized boy. Uh this is Vice Land season one, episode six, The Boy. Matt and Jay befriend a sick kid to use his final wish to ask for Nirvana the band to play the Ribley. They wind up showing him the time of his life. But will time run out? The opening titles for this one, um, I could I could maybe use some help with. The internet's telling me that the opening titles for this one is a Jason Statham movie called Crank. Mm-hmm that I have not seen, but also like an 8-bit video game version of Crank.
SteveCrank kinda rocks. But also, this music was used uh on Newgrounds.com back in the day.
MichelleI knew it felt familiar, but I couldn't figure out why. And it that must be it.
SteveSo the plot of the film, Crank, is Jason Satham gets poisoned. My wife is a certified crank enjoyer. Uh he gets poisoned, and he needs to keep his adrenaline level up at a certain point, otherwise his heart's gonna stop and he's gonna die.
MichelleSo this is like speed, but inside his own body. Yes.
SteveYes, and then the sequel, Crank High Voltage, he needs to keep shocking his heart with electricity to restart it.
MichelleLike speed too, but his body instead of a boat. I understand now. This is part of the speed cinematic universe. Exactly.
SteveI bet you if I watch Crank now, I'd be like, this sucks.
KitWhen was the last time you saw Crank?
SteveIn theaters.
KitWell, as somebody who saw Crank like six or seven years ago, movie fucking sucks. I'm sorry. Aided that.
SteveIs it because there's a scene where he's fucking at a horse race track?
KitThat was actually kind of funny. I won't lie. I thought, like, oh, of course, he has to keep his heart right up. Why not just like fuck some lady? That makes sense. I don't know. I just it this is crank to me, it was like that quintessential, like, I'm dating a man movie, and he's gonna show me this movie, and he's like, it fucking rocks, and it's just like, no, it kind of doesn't, but you know, thank you for shooting. The Clive Owen film, exactly like that, where it's like it fucking rocks, and you're just like, Thank you for sharing your culture with me, but no, thank you.
MichelleIs there any movie in that category that you feel like you do like? I would have to think about that. Sully.
KitNo, that's like a dad movie, though. There's a difference between like a dad movie where like they're showing you Sully or Moneyball or Master and Commander versus like like I'm dating a guy and I'm in my 20s and he's gonna show me fucking crank and say it's art, you know?
SteveYeah. See, I think I have found the sweet spot of stupid action movies that don't land fully in that pocket. Like when we watched Action USA, that movie rips. It does.
MichelleI I have never I have never understood personally for myself the the charm of Jason Statham. It just doesn't, it doesn't work on me. Um I respect I respect people for whom that does work, but he's not he's not my he's not my strong boy. Um but I do think my version of that movie that I would be an annoying 22-year-old man about is blood sport. Hell yeah.
SteveBloodsport rocks. So good. You be you and Donald Trump's favorite movie.
KitDon't say that. That's his favorite movie?
SteveYeah, didn't remember when it came out that he watches blood sport but skips all the dialogue scenes?
KitNo.
SteveAllegedly. No. What? I can't be making this up.
MichelleThat feels like a dream that you had.
SteveNo, Donald Trump loves blood sport.
MichelleThis is devastating to me. I just I just said I was gonna be annoying about it. And now I have to reevaluate that. I'm gonna say understand it like I do. But yeah, he's skipping all the dialogue. He's skipping all the dialogue, and the dialogue's very important to understanding what's going on.
SteveSee, as you two have heard me rant about, my version of this is Scott Atkins, th the king of Redbox action movies.
MichelleI don't know if I know who that is.
SteveInteresting. He appears in other stuff, but like Ninja, Ninja 2, they fucking rock.
MichelleI can't believe you haven't made us watch any of these.
SteveI've only really gotten Scott Atkins pilled in the last couple, like two years or so. And like not all of them are good. Most of them are pretty bad, but the man is such an amazing martial artist that when he's like, you know, dropkicking through a subway window, I'm like, 10 out of 10, perfect movie.
MichelleI can't tell you if I've seen anything with this man because he looks like generically like henchmen in an action movie.
SteveThey threw him in a fat suit in John Wick 4.
MichelleI don't think I saw that, John Wick. I think I fell off after.
SteveThis time he's Wickier. Brom. Oh, is that your cue to get back to the boy? I listen, I could because we're we're at a crossroads here. And it's either we're gonna talk about action movies for three hours, or we're gonna vaguely stay on our podcasts.
MichelleAnd the boy. The boy starts out. Matt is sick. Jay brings him soup, and by soup I mean broth with dill in it. Um Matt is upset that there's no chicken. Um, because that's what makes you feel better. Um, I would say if I was sick and I had a friend, my best friend, bring me some broth with dill in it. No complaints for me. That sounds delightful.
SteveWell, when Matt actually eats it, he gets a big old cutie pie smile, which I think is the highlight of the episode.
KitI will say that when he does that smile, I always think he's gonna open his mouth and all the soup is gonna come out, but then it doesn't.
MichelleI did make a note um uh on that shot of him soup smiling. Uh Kit will be screenshotting that. Yep. If she hasn't already. She hat. Sick but still has hat head.
SteveYes, that was a note from my wife. Uh it's really interesting that he's home sick, but he still has hat hair.
MichelleI assume he always has hat hair.
SteveYeah.
MichelleBecause he's it's so weird to see him without the hat.
SteveYou two always want her to contribute to the podcast. Both of your partners have been on the podcast. She asked me to put that quote in the notes.
MichelleThank you, Anne.
SteveIt's weird that he's sick but still has hat hair.
MichelleShe's right. It is weird. Um while they are discussing plans, um, Matt suggests they make it a video game day, and and that scares Jay. Um, they start talking and and they say how nice it would be if um they could get a make-a-wish kid to make a wish for them to play at the Rivoli. Um, and of course, obviously, the only natural reaction to that is that they go to the hospital and look for a sick kid that they can befriend and convince them to use their wish to help them achieve their own dream.
SteveI know we've hinted at it, but how does everybody feel about this episode?
KitI don't think it's my favorite, but I we are kind of talking about it like it's the burn. And it's not. It's just it's a fine episode. It's not great, it's not bad, it's just whatever.
SteveYeah, no, it's not definitely not the burn. I just think we usually get a lot to talk about on this show out of these episodes. And this one I had maybe three or four things to say.
MichelleI thought it was fine. Yeah. Not not like actively bad or offensive or painful, just like so many of these have been like great, and I can't wait to rewatch them and like learn everything about them. And this one, I was like, okay, that's fine.
SteveNot that it's bad. Like, I know I went if if I'm doing a watch through, I don't skip it, but I'm usually looking at my phone a little bit. But I have a theory on this episode. Do tell. I think this was mostly done. And we can ask them when they come on the show, maybe, if we don't want to be offended, like in case we end up offensive. But like it seems like this was more experimenting with format. There's the like the pixel art stuff, right? Like the video game openings. There's the scene in the hospital where the um medical equipment causes interference uh with the sound. And then also when they're on the roller coaster and the sound gets messed up, which I was saying to Kit before we started recording, like there's a direct line to that bit and the skydiving gag in the movie where they're like screaming and the audio is like cutting out. Oh because it's getting disconnected. And this one more seemed like them like playing around with what they do, more than actually having necessarily a fully thought-out like premise.
MichelleYeah. Well, I think this watching this one made me think about the other episodes where there is a child or children present that I've seen so far. And the ones that came to my mind, I don't know if I didn't check thoroughly, but I don't think I'm missing any, were the web series episode where the little Polish kid joins them. Um, and then the one where they have like young man and Jay flashbacks in the web series that it feels like we're sort of like calling back to a teeny bit. And I think this felt closer to Polish Kid in the Park of just like here's sort of like a weird tween, uh, who's at like I think doing exactly what he's supposed to. Um, he's innocent.
SteveHe's so great, he's so cute.
MichelleUh but like adding someone else into their mix, I think, is really challenging. And especially someone who's gonna like be with them the whole time, not just like a brief passing interaction. Um and I don't know.
SteveThat was how I felt as well. Like the second they have to account for another person, especially a kid, they're gonna be a little less freewheeling and have to be a little more thoughtful in what they do. Because Matt can't like go off on a rant where he's like screaming profanities at a child and then be like, oh, let's edit that out and or cut it a little bit, you know.
MichelleYeah. And even a kid who seems like totally down with what they're doing and is not like trying to make his own jokes. He's like not like a I don't know, he doesn't seem like he's like a community theater kid who's like very eager to like get his own moment in the sun. He like seems like a very normal child who is reacting to them the way a normal child would, of just like, what are you talking about? And like, sure, I'll go to an amusement park. Um, but I think it just does, yeah, it it changes the dynamic. I think you're totally right about that.
SteveHow about you, Kit?
KitAnd for me, the the stuff that didn't work wasn't Mike, it was the the the wraparound story about Jay's childhood. Okay. I don't really f I didn't really find that funny or interesting. Like I've always found that to be kind of the drag of the episode, not necessarily them at the theme park. Oh, interesting.
SteveI mean, maybe we'll get an email about this. I don't know what it was trying to either reference or say that whole thing with Jay's childhood.
SPEAKER_05We don't know.
SteveIt just makes Jay's mom seem terrible. She's so mad at him for having three bananas. I could see a British mom if you grew up in Canada. Is do we know if Jay's real mom is British?
KitNo, I did not make that up.
SteveWell, we could ask Jay's dad if we ever get him on the show.
KitNo.
SteveIs your wife British? And then I secondly profusely. And then you go, secondly, is there a wiggle room on that marriage?
MichelleI would never. Um But yeah. No, that's interesting. I think the the flashbacks, they just they it just like feels like two different things sort of stuck together. And normally, like, even when they are like cramming like multiple different references into a single episode, it feels so much more cohesive, and this just doesn't for whatever reason. Yeah.
SteveThere's also not a ton of jokes. Mm-hmm. It's very plotty.
SPEAKER_05Mm-hmm.
SteveI know you don't like for me. I'm just like, all right, so we're gonna do the scam with the boy, we're gonna pull him out of the hospital, we're gonna take him to the amusement park. And it just there's maybe like one or two what I would say like laugh out loud jokes. The one is when they get to the hospital and they're looking at his chart, and then Matt says, like, uh, wait for, are we gonna risk this kid's life to play the Rivoli? And then stares at Jay and then just like pulls the cable out.
MichelleMm-hmm.
SteveMade me laugh really hard.
MichelleMm-hmm. So Matt and Jay go to the hospital. They are on the hunt for a parentless sick child that they can take out on an adventure, make them loved, uh, and and make them make them feel friends enough that they are um willing to give away their wish, their one wish. And so they find Mike, and he's the only parentless child around.
KitAnd he is their cousin or nephew, or maybe both.
MichelleYou just gotta pick one. Yeah. You gotta stay with one.
SteveI do like, yeah, that that Matt is like Jay, you're you basically going like, Jay, you're useless. You need to just pick one and stick with it. Because isn't it Matt that goes?
KitNo, it's Jay who tells us. Oh, is it Jay? Yeah. See? Okay. Number one Jay defender on the podcast.
SteveLook, I love Jay. It was last episode where I had problems with him. 90% of the time, I love Jay McCarroll very much. Last week, listen, I love Matt. You know that. I have to protect my little princess.
KitDisney princess.
SteveUm he doesn't get protected enough. Everybody's like, Jay's so hot, he's so beautiful, Matt's so psychotic. And I'm like, someone needs to cuddle Matt.
KitYeah, but Jay innocent here.
SteveIn no, no. In this one, I told you, one episode, Jay is not innocent. One. And I'm getting painted as the Jay McCarroll hater. I love you, Jay. One episode, I don't like you. Even if you are very sexy and I would smoot you.
MichelleUh Jay being very responsible here, saying they gotta keep their lives straight, and also looking at the chart. Clearly not reading the chart with any sort of accuracy because he reads that there's something wrong with this child's heart, and actually he is in for diabetes.
SteveUm I also like that he says ticker, like he's a 90-year-old man. Yeah. Mm-hmm. It's really fun. And then Matt's like, all right, are we gonna risk this kid's life to play the Rivoli? And then there's like a two-second beat, and then he pulls the cable, and they're like, Alright, let's get this kid out of the hospital, basically.
MichelleYeah. And he's just ready to go. He's down for it.
SteveHow do we think the Toronto hospital system feels about how they're depicted on this episode, where in which you can just steal a child.
KitPretty positive. That kid gets to go to Canada's Wonderland for free.
MichelleThey work with the hospital.
KitThey do.
MichelleAnd the nurses don't want the kids to have any fun, but yeah. But these two fellas want the kids to have fun.
SteveHere's the thing. I was a sick kid in the hospital a lot. The nurses didn't want me to have fun. Sounds like you could have used a Matt and Jay. I would have loved two grown men to kidnap me and take me to an amusement park.
MichelleI love that their plan before they land on going to the amusement park is let's just bring this child to like hang out in our living room. Whatever 12-year-old boy wants.
KitYeah.
SteveI mean, it kinda is though, right? Like these guys are like, we're gonna show you cool movies, your mom will let you see.
MichelleDid they promise him that though? Or no?
KitNo, they just scooped him out of the hospital to their house and start writing on a whiteboard. I mean, they do suggest something fun, which is a video game day, and that gets shut down pretty quick.
MichelleBecause of the haunting.
SteveIt's there was a post on the Nirvana the Band the show subreddit, I think this week, where someone was like, I'm trying to watch the boy, and there's a weird glitch. Does anybody know what's going on with that? Mm-hmm. That's fun. People are like, watch the rest of the episode before you post.
KitNo, I'm scared. My Disney Plus is haunted. The boy is in my walls.
SteveLive action Moana footage keeps popping up. Um so like there's this like static graphics, and we later find out is Super Mario World that just like randomly flashes to Jay. Mm-hmm.
MichelleI mean, I will say, like, for my experience watching it, the first couple times it happened, I did genuinely think there was something wrong, like that my internet was bad or that something was lagging, or there was an issue with the file or something. And then I think by the time they get to the living room, it's clear that that's intentional.
SteveAnd that's why you shouldn't have put that post on Reddit, Michelle. You should have waited until I'm sorry.
MichelleI just wanted to know right away.
SteveThat person probably listens to the show. I'm sorry.
MichelleI can't blame them. I I have done comparable things multiple times in my life.
KitI mean, I use our Discord server as Google constantly. I'm always in there asking a question and being like, you you people give me a better answer.
SteveWear your personal chat GPT. It's true.
KitAnd I mean it works much less reliable. Like that one time I was like, I could Google how many people are in LCD sound system, but one of you millennials will tell me immediately. And sure enough.
MichelleAnd like five people did.
KitYeah.
MichelleYou got a very nuanced, thoughtful answer. And a recommendation.
SteveYou live in Brooklyn. You could have yelled it out the window.
KitI know, but it's more fun to type. Plus, I got the recommendation to talk to Michelle's friend.
MichelleMm-hmm.
KitThat's a huge LCD sound system fan.
MichelleHave you made it over to Bushwick to talk to him yet?
KitNo. Trains, man. That's funny.
MichelleYeah, that's reasonable. Anyway, back in the living room is uh while that while they're figuring out fun things to do, um, we get uh one of my favorite little bits of the show, which is uh Matt's Irish Troubles Corner. Yes. Where he briefly explains to a 12-year-old boy the the conflict between Catholics and Protestants in Ireland.
SteveYou're all white people, why is what he says. That's true. Why are you fighting? And then and then Jay refers to it as a 90s problem that's not that fun.
MichelleAnd you know what? He's right again. It's true. Third or fourth time this episode that he's made a very solid point.
SteveDo you remember when Liam Neeson went on an interview for his snowplow movie and then said during the troubles he wanted to do a hate crime, and everybody was like, why'd you say that?
KitHold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. No, we we gotta back up here. Okay, first of all, snowplow movie?
SteveYeah, he's a snowplow driver who's seeking vengeance.
KitAgainst it's called Cold Pursuit. The snow? Or did like his wife die or something?
SteveIt's like son gets killed by a drug overdose or something.
KitAnd so he becomes a snowplow driver.
SteveI I have not seen Cold Pursuit. Good name.
KitWhy haven't you seen it?
SteveI have better things to do with my time. Okay.
KitSecond question. Huh?
SteveYeah. They asked him something about what's one time you wanted to get revenge. And he was like, Well, a friend of mine was sexually assaulted by a black man, so I decided I was gonna go out and kill a black bastard. Oh, what the fuck?
KitI remember this now because it's so insane.
SteveYikes, dude. Neeson, chill, man! Yikes. The Charles is an important historical event, but my pop culture melted brain anytime it comes up. Remember when Liam Neeson was like, I was gonna do a hate crime?
MichelleThat's crazy. That's a 90s problem and not very fun. Not very fun.
SteveIt's not that's I just sorry. Just I think about that and I'm like, you could have said nothing, Liam. You offered this information. No one was like, hey, remember that time you wanted to do a hate crime? And he's like, Yes, of course. Anyway. So with this episode.
KitYeah, how do we get out of this?
SteveWe're pulling out.
MichelleI'm just I already tried. I already said that. How do we get out of it? I think, Steve, you have to write the plane. Okay, here we go.
KitYou are Sully.
MichelleYou're land us. And you need to pull us out of this nosedive. Or land in the river. I don't know.
KitLand us in the river.
SteveBrace for impact. Oh my god.
KitBrace, brace, brace.
SteveEnough about Sully. Good pivot. But so with this episode, I think one of the issues besides it being that like when the main focus isn't Matt and Jay's relationship, that it kind of goes off the rail, is that what they do here is a bridge too far, but not edgy. Like kidnapping a kid from a hospital, like on paper, is like, ooh, bad boys. But like the way that they do it, not that I wanted it to be more horrifying, is just kind of, I don't know, let's focus on this J subplot. And I think that also kind of dings it.
MichelleI feel like part of what is so compelling about the whole show and the movie is how much of it is like, how did they do that? Is it real or not? We've talked about that almost every episode. And this one, it just like sort of steps over a line to like, I know, I know that a lot of this isn't real. I know that most of this isn't real. Yeah. And so it takes sort of the fun out of like guessing, like, how did you do this and what's going on? And like the and there isn't sort of an additional thing to compensate for not having that thing that I normally love about the show in it. Um, which is why it sort of just lands in like, this is fine.
SteveYeah. It it there wasn't a single moment where I thought about their emotional relationship. And for me, and the way that you know we talk about the show, it was so strange for me to like for the whole thing not really have any thoughts about their interiority. It very much was like, let's do this thing to try and get a show at the Rivoli, which is always so secondary in my head when we're talking about these episodes.
KitYeah, it honestly kind of feels like the boy isn't really a Nirvana the band, the show episode, and more of just sort of like a generic sitcom episode in a way, you know? Yeah. And that's like totally fine, but it there's nothing really about it that is compelling or interesting to me where like I would want to re-watch it again. Like I think Steve, you mentioned it earlier that like you know, you'll you'll when you're doing a rewatch, you'll probably be like on your phone or not totally paying attention during this one. This one during rewatches, I've just completely skipped. I just don't find it that interesting. And I know there's better stuff to watch from the show.
SteveWell, it's so funny that after this one, we have my two favorite episodes of the series back to back.
MichelleYep. Mm-hmm.
SteveSo like the boy is kind of like, get out of the way, we're getting to the good stuff.
MichelleMm-hmm. That is very sitcommy to just like there are gonna be some filler episodes, and they can't every single one can't be a banger.
KitThat's true.
MichelleAnd I mean you gotta have ones that are that are just alright.
KitFor a filler episode, it makes sense that they would go to a The Empire instead of because usually a filler episode is like you go to the beach.
SteveSo Oh my god, it did we crack the meta commentary here that they were intentionally doing a filler episode?
KitThat could be it. That could be it. Because sometimes the beach episodes do have that like dramatic turn where you learn something very intense about a character. In this case, Jay's childhood drama with three bananas.
SteveIt's so strange. And Jay is so anxious this whole time. Like he's worried about them getting pinched on the rides. He's worried about their tummies being upset, which is true. My sister once puked on a ride after a funnel. Classic. That feels like a very amusement park experience. I don't think three bananas would have solved the problem.
MichelleWell, you need your potassium after you throw up.
SteveI think a chunk of this episode um is also very much Jared experimenting. Like, there is the scene earlier where the medical equipment fucks up his like microphones, and then there's the scene of them on the rope mat on the roller coaster trying to explain everything to Mike, and he's like, uh, you know, blah, blah, blah. And then they go down the hill, that's what I was thinking of, and they're screaming, and then the microphone's cutting in and out as they scream on the roller coaster. Which is just basically shot, like, not shot for shot, but like sound for sound, what happens when they jump off the ZN Tower in the movie.
SPEAKER_05Mm-hmm.
SteveSo that is interesting where they're playing with the technical format of it, but yeah, that like that's the highlight of the whole episode for me is like them introducing those fun little like recording gags.
MichelleThe idea of explaining something mid-roller coaster ride is to me a very funny concept. That I don't think but I feel like there is a better execution than how it is here, but just like the idea of it alone makes me laugh and I enjoyed it.
KitYeah, I love how Matt was explaining it to Mike, is like, we really want this show, but the Rivoli hates us, that's why we won't get the show. It's not that you haven't like actually called and tried. Well, you did, but you didn't really follow through properly.
SteveI think that's really telling.
KitYeah.
SteveThat Matt's really worried about rejection. He's like, they hate me. They said no one time to my band photo, so now they hate me.
MichelleThey're both they're both very anxious in this one.
SteveMatt is like, he's so mad at Jay this whole time.
KitHe's being a bummer.
SteveYeah. And they're so like, they're not butting heads, like fighting for comedic purposes. It's like Jay's being a pill, and Matt's like, what the fuck's wrong with you, bro? And that's their whole dynamic, the whole episode. Until Jay has his revel his flashback revelation. Mm-hmm.
KitYeah.
SteveWhich is very confusing.
KitYeah, the whole time I was really hoping that I would understand what reference this is supposed to be, and I I cannot figure it out. Like, part of me is just like, is this like a weird lost thing? Lost does come back in the end.
MichelleI did have a note to talk about it. Another, another return of JJ Abrams.
SteveIs that a lost thing?
MichelleI as we've said before, I mean, there are flashbacks in like out of time thing and but again, yeah, none of us have watched Lost. So if that is an explicit reference, it's lost on us. Hey. Got him. Sorry, I'll leave.
SteveCurly. Uh I don't want to be like cinema sensing or whatever. The flashback of it all and like the Jay glitching breaks the format of the show in a lot of ways. Because we're getting this like cinematic shot like flashback that he has to his childhood one day. And also like the glitching going on with Jay, like, not that it really matters because you know it's fictional, but it I think it's interesting and and not in a great way, how it breaks the reality of the show. And like Michelle, you were saying earlier, like there's no part where I was like, oh, how did they do that? Like, what's real and what's not? And this one is just very much like, I don't think any of it was real, and therefore, like that magic part is just totally gone.
KitThat's probably why it feels more like a sitcom episode. Everybody's an actor.
SteveShould we get to Jay's flashback?
KitYeah. Yeah.
MichelleI I will say the like moment leading up to Jay's flashback is one of the moments that I really enjoyed from this episode where um he's standing in front of this log flume and gets splashed by it while Claire Delune plays in a beautiful homage to the Bellagio Fountains at the end of Ocean's Eleven. Hell yeah. Um I'm always I'm always happy for a chance to think about Ocean's 11. And this is a great one. You could put Claire Delune on anything, and I'd be like, wow, this is peak cinema.
KitAre you saying that because of Ocean's Eleven, or are you saying that because that is Edward Cullen's favorite song, Michelle?
MichelleYou know me so well, kid. Um it's because of both. I gotcha.
SteveThat's Edward Cullen's favorite song.
MichelleHe loves Debussy. Uh, and he's embarrassed about it when when Bella finds when when she starts playing it in his room. We don't have to, we don't have to be able to do that.
SteveEverything I know about everything I know about Twilight I know from you, so thank you.
KitThat's like one of the the few things I remember from reading the books was him talking about how much he loved it, and then her, I think Stephanie Meyer talking about that the like hardcore rock music that he also listened to in addition to Claire Delune, and it was like Muse. And I was like, okay, sure.
MichelleHe drives around in his Volvo listening to Super Massive Black Hole. It's awesome. He's the best King of Edward Cullen.
SteveDo I need to watch The Twilights?
KitYes. Yeah.
SteveWell, I like The Twilights.
KitYou'll love the last one.
MichelleI think you will happily go on record saying that I think the first one is like a genuinely good movie. It's like so it's very stupid and it's very campy, but it's like a fun, silly, low-ish budget teen movie. And they just like hit at a specific time and in a specific way that made them really take off. And the remainder of the series is like very weird and not as good. All of them have great soundtracks. Um and then I think by the time you get to the last movie, it is like such weird like 2010s teen movie making that it like circles around to being a fascinating object. It's I would not call it a good movie, but I would call the first Twilight a good movie, and I actively enjoyed it. I think Catherine Hardwick is great.
SteveI know baseball's involved, you know. That's always gonna get me. That's the best scene in the movie, I think.
KitMm-hmm. And I will agree the first one is pretty good. I will say that the last one, though, so deranged on so many different levels. That was such a magical theater going experience for me. There are so many things that happened where I'm like, wow. It genuinely shocked me. They really went for it.
SteveYeah. Like I said, I've seen the fucked up baby.
KitIt that's not even the most fucked up we're talking about.
MichelleI really I really desperately don't want to spoil the thing that I'm thinking of for you. I think Kit we're thinking about the same thing.
KitWe're thinking of different things, but yeah. Hold on.
SteveThe other thing I know is about the werewolf implanting on the baby.
MichelleMy thing has nothing to do with the baby at all.
SteveOh.
MichelleMy thing also has well, the baby is there, but it mostly has nothing to do with the baby.
SteveKit will we'll compare notes. We will decomp yeah. Okay. I maybe I will find time to watch the twilights. Not between episodes.
MichelleHomework movies. Your homework. All five Twilight movies.
KitThis could be a recurring homework.
MichelleAll of them are all like two and a half hours long. You could probably skip the second movie and not really miss out on much.
KitDid they do the chapter thing in the second second movie where it's just like October? November. Did they do that? It's not as good in the movie as it is in the book. In the book, it's a big deal.
MichelleThere's a part I this part I don't care about spoiling. There's a part in the second movie. Spoil Twilight away. There's a part in the second book and movie where um like Edward leaves and Bella is depressed. And in the book, it's just like it's like 10 chapters or something where the like chapter and title shows up and it just has a month and then the it's blank and she does that for a while. Um good job, Stephanie Meyer. And time is passing and the world is moving without Bella. Oh no. Um that movie mostly sucks, but that part was good. And then I think I think in the movie it's just like sort of a montage of her like sitting sadly in her bedroom. It's not the same. It's not the same, it's not as good.
SteveOkay, maybe I'll watch it. Uh like I said, it's weird that I've avoided it for this long. It is weird that you've avoided it. They're really fun to watch, they're so stupid.
KitI haven't seen a twilight, I haven't seen a fifty shades. You don't need to see fifty shades. I also have not seen 50 shades, but I do like the songs that the weekend did for it.
SPEAKER_00Mm-hmm.
KitWizard of songs.
SteveThe weekend?
KitYes. Was he in Uncut Gems?
SteveLike he thinks uh it's before he gets famous, and Adam Sandler thinks he's fucking Julia Fox.
KitOh.
SteveThe weekend's in it as himself.
KitGood for him. Oh.
SteveAdam Sandler. The Adam Sandler thing, man. That's the one thing that man was killed with.
KitHere we go again about the Adam. It he's fine. He's okay.
SteveI like how I'm defending it like I would die for Adam Sandler, which I would not. It's just kit has hit that part of my brain that's like, but that's not true.
KitI'm not even doing it intentionally anymore.
SteveHmm. You know what? This is this is what I get um for being the way that I am.
SPEAKER_05Mm-hmm.
SteveCan Can I share uh a make-a-wish story with the two of you?
KitI'm so scared by what you mean by that.
SteveSure. So in preparation for today, I was thinking of what are some things we could talk about on this episode if we got finished a little early.
MichelleAnd one of them was are you too Well don't worry, we have half the half the episode to come up with.
SteveI know, but I want a segue.
unknownOkay.
SteveAre you two aware that Hulk Hogan made up a make-a-wish kid?
KitNo. No.
SteveCan we do a story corner real quick? Sure. Because I feel like this is a good time to do this. Um, so Hulk Hogan once told a story. Uh I I found it listed. Uh, that at SummerSlam 1992, there was supposed to be a kid there from the Make-A-Wish Foundation, and when Hulk Hogan went out, he saw that the scene was the seat was empty because the kid had died.
MichelleOh wow. And I'm so scared. What did he call it?
SteveHe claimed that where the place where he claimed he was wrestling at SummerSlam 92, he was not on the card and made it up. Now, he lied about a make-a-wish kit. Now that's bad, right? That's really bad.
SPEAKER_05Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
SteveIn 1995, Hulk Hogan released an album called Hulk Hogan and the Wrestling Boot Band. And in it, he released a song called Hulkster in Heaven. Okay, so Hulk Hogan made up this make-a-wish kit and then wrote a song about it. Mm-hmm. That's crazy. I just think that's great. I think that's worse than anything Nirvana the band did in this episode.
KitUh-huh. Yeah, but I I think so, but mainly because they didn't write a song about Mike. If they had written a song about Mike, then I'd be like, these are neck and neck.
SteveOkay. Yeah. So anyway, I just wanted to share. We can do we can cut that story if we want, but I thought we might enjoy Hulk Hogan's fake make-a-wish kid.
KitNo, I think that's delightful, and I do love whenever celebrities just lie about stuff.
SteveHonestly, you mentioning uh Edward Cullen made me think of Robert Pattinson lying in interviews, which reminded me that I just in case I had the Hulk Hogan lied about a kid who died of cancer.
MichelleI love Robert Pattinson's lies because he he clearly lies for sport and fun and pleasure. Um he doesn't, he's not doing it to make anyone think he's a good person. In fact, I think a lot of his lies make him seem worse than he is. Yeah. Um and what a jokester. I love that guy.
SteveI mean, yeah, can't wait to see him as Chris Hansen.
MichelleI don't think he would have the career that he has today if he hadn't made a bunch of dumb shit teen movies that made him infinite money so he can do weird indie projects. And that's something else that I have the Twilight series to think for. Um, and also many hours of watching the movies and enjoying them.
SteveHim, Kristen Stewart, and uh Daniel Radcliffe are all the ones that use their stupid kid movies to make cool shit.
MichelleDaniel Radcliffe, of course, played Jasper in the Twilight films. Yep. Mm-hmm. This is true. Um, Jasper, Steve. Uh I'm lying about being played by Daniel Radcliffe, but um Jasper is a vampire who was um a transphobic, a Civil War soldier, and he fought for the South. But we like him now. He learned the error of his ways. Oh, did he? Yeah, by only hanging out with white people.
KitWell, they're all vampires.
SteveY'all are making me want to watch Twilight now.
KitI cannot stress to you enough how insane the world building is in the Twilight series.
SPEAKER_05Mm-hmm.
KitLike, there are so many choices that are made that you're like, huh. I guess it makes sense for the ruling authority of the vampires to be Roman Catholics in the Vatican.
MichelleYeah, of course.
SPEAKER_05Mm-hmm.
MichelleMm-hmm. Um when when the excellent Superman movie came out last summer that I really enjoyed, um, and I really enjoyed Mr. Terrific, I think a lot of people did. I was even more delighted when I realized that what I knew uh Eddie Gatheggi from was that he plays Laurent in Twilight, um, who is uh an incredible, fantastic supporting character. Yes. Um and he was just as charming then as he is as Mr. Terrific, and I just I can't wait. I can't wait to have a Twilight podcast after this.
SteveMichael Sheen is in them.
MichelleMichael Sheen is excellent in so good in it.
SteveMichael Sheen is excellent in everything. But Dakota Fanning is excellent. Yeah, but is L in it. L Fanning, my preferred fanning. No.
KitMaybe in a cameo.
SteveDakota Johnson, star of the Equalizer 3.
KitShe's part of the cinematic universe, though.
SteveAnyway, what happens on the boy?
KitWe were getting into his Jay's like glitches, flashbacks, all of that.
MichelleHe gets hit by the logflume and remembers everything clearly. It all comes back to him. His British mother does not want him to have a video game day. She storms in, turns off Super Mario 2, Super Mario World. Um, and part of why Canada's Wonderland has been haunting Jay is that it gets uh the the Super Nintendo gets cut off and it's a mid-commercial for Canada's Wonderland.
SteveAnd then she's yelling at him about why do you have three bananas? Why not, Jay's mom? Why not? That is a lot of bananas. Too many bananas for one child. I keep thinking that there's something I'm missing. Do you know what I mean? Like when I watch this, I'm like, is there a gag here or a reference here that is just not that I it's just going over my head, and I always struggle with that.
KitYeah, this time I noticed the VHS tapes that were stacked next to the TV, and I was like, okay, is this like a Ferris Bueller somehow? Because like Ferris Bueller's there, and I'm like, no, it's not. Does it work with the city? It's certainly not a diehard or an ET.
SteveI also looked at the VHS tapes.
MichelleThe only VHS tape I saw was when he picks up Bazlerman's Romeo plus Juliet, which is great inspiration for their Hawaiian shirts at the Muslim Park.
SteveThat's a good movie. I like that movie. That is a great movie. So what happens at Canada's Wonderland after Jay has his revelation that his mom is mean?
MichelleWell, I think something about the flashback is also like not just that he like has this memory of his British mother being mean to him, but also like the things like he was mixing up things that she was saying and thinking they would affect Canada's Wonderland. Like the pinching was from something else, and the G forces were from something else, and um, so he is he's free to enjoy some roller coasters.
SteveShe claimed like the G forces from a video game made a kid go crazy. It's bottom. Because that's what she's saying. I was like, what does that mean?
MichelleUh you have all these sweet shots of the three of them enjoying the amusement park together, and they are riding roller coasters, they are eating funnel cake, having a lot of fun.
SteveI did like when Matt yelled Jay's back so excitedly.
MichelleMm-hmm.
SteveI thought that was very sweet. He missed his best friend.
KitThey did get this beautiful little montage.
SteveAnd then they kill a kid.
KitAs you do in a beautiful little montage.
SteveSo I that's the one thing I'm wondering how they filmed, because we then find Mike passed out on the floor, looking dead.
SPEAKER_05Yeah.
SteveAnd then they cut to like horrified onlookers while Matt and Jay like carry his limp body out of the theme park.
MichelleThat does, I think if I put on my like, how did you do this hat feel like where if you saw that happening and then like the child stands up and is fine and is like, hello, hi, I'm fine. You'd be like, okay, weird. And then sort of move on.
SteveOh, totally. But that was the one stunt in the whole thing where I was like, oh, that's an interesting like edit of other people.
MichelleAnd then dropping him outside the emergency room doors on the other end. Feels like the one where like maybe someone is gonna come yell at you a little bit more.
SteveThere is a guy watching them holding a little girl's hand at the bottom of the ramp. And I was like, Sir, did you wait to go intervene? What happened here? Mm-hmm. I'm sure they ran out and were like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, it's all it's all cool, it's all cool. Because this guy stops and just like stares.
MichelleMm-hmm. Because it looks like they just dropped a dead kid at the door.
KitYeah.
SteveAnd then Matt is uh in quotes racked with guilt.
KitHe's really broken up about it. They have the the drawing that they did at the theme park, and he's just staring.
MichelleHe's looking so sadly at a caricature of the three of them.
SteveWhy does Jay look like Leonard Malton in that caricature?
MichelleI don't know who that is.
SteveNoted film critic Leonard Malton? The critic?
KitYeah, the TV show guy, yeah.
SteveHe uh did the Dick Tracy specials with uh It all comes back to Dick Tracy. Usually does. This guy.
MichelleHmm. Maybe I've seen that man.
SteveAll I'm saying is it was a bad caricature.
MichelleIt was a bad well, yeah. All caricatures are bad. I have um one that I got done at a at a fair that is one of the the most horrifying renditions of my face possible. The caricature artist did tell me to stop moving while they were drawing me, and I didn't, and I think that was their way of punishing me. I'll send you a picture of it. We can put it on the Instagram. Please.
SteveI would love I love that you saved it after that. That's a really nice touch.
MichelleI don't think I have the physical one anymore, but I do have a photo of it on my phone. It's especially notable because it was me and um Patrick, my now husband, together, and he looks great in the character. That's always he looks very handsome, and I look like I have like sharp pointy teeth, like some sort of shark.
KitOr a vampire.
MichelleOr a vampire. Maybe she just knew.
SteveYou are America's number one Twilight fan.
MichelleI don't think I can lay claim to that. I think there are people much crazier than me.
SteveI didn't say you were the craziest. I just said number one, because you're my favorites.
MichelleOh, thanks.
SteveNumber one Twilight fan, you know. Yep. Kedda, your Twilight fan? If so, I apologize.
KitI I'm not as excited about it as Michelle is, but you know.
MichelleUm while they're back in the living room talking about uh what's happened, I love that they are whispering because they're saying terrible things, even though nobody who I guess Jared is over there there to overhear them, but they're not trying to hide from Jared. They're just trying to hide from the world while they say, like, we had that wish.
SPEAKER_05Mm-hmm.
MichelleYeah, I like that they're like, we call dibs on it. Yeah. And then it as soon as one of them says it out loud, it turns into like, well, well, could we steal a dead kid's wish?
KitThey didn't steal it, they had it.
MichelleIt's true. You did say they could have it.
KitThat's true.
MichelleThey had it on recording. That's legally binding. Even if you're 12. Even if you're dead. Even if you're dead.
KitSo they call the hospital.
MichelleBecause the hospital is the one who would manage the the wish allocation after uh after a child has passed, of course.
KitI just want to know what they think the wish is. Like, is it just like a little piece of paper that didn't get filled out? Like, is it like an um a magic orb or something like out of Super Mario Galaxy? Like, what what is this?
SteveWell, I think Matt and Jay don't fully understand what make-a-wish is. I think they just think sick kids get whatever they want.
MichelleYeah. Mm-hmm. Including their adult friends, a concert at beloved Queen Street venue, the Rivoli.
SteveMm-hmm. Did if only the Matt of two episodes from now knew how many make-a-wishes John Cena granted, he would be sad. What? The guy is the record for most wishes. You didn't know that?
KitNo.
SteveNo, John Cena single-handedly has granted the most wishes of any human being on earth.
KitThat's crazy. Like the most kids have asked for him.
SteveYeah, and that he completed. Like he completes like many a year. Like he never says no to a make-a-wish. He has like the far and away the world record for it. That's why I say that. That's crazy. That's so nice. Yep. They find out that he's alive. They go. They're talking about Terminator.
KitIs this a safe space?
SteveMm-hmm.
KitAm I in a a circle of love and friendship?
SteveWell, yeah, of course. That doesn't mean it's safe, but yes.
KitWhoa. Alright, well, in the spirit of love and friendship, I've never seen Terminator.
SPEAKER_00Me neither.
KitLet's find out. Any of them? None of them.
unknownWow.
MichelleI've seen the like culturally uh present like clips of the silver goo and and him saying, I'll be back.
KitYeah. I'm like aware of it and and that, but I've never sat down and watched a Terminator movie. Or Terminator Corner. Or the Sarah Connor Chronicles, which was a television show.
SteveEverybody loved it. I didn't watch it. But can we have a Terminator Corner?
MichelleSure.
KitSure.
SteveI feel like Terminator One's a kit movie, Terminator 2 is a Michelle movie.
MichelleWhoa. I wish I could weigh in, but I haven't seen them.
SteveI showed my wife Terminator 1 for the first time like three days ago.
KitOkay.
SteveBecause uh they are re-releasing Terminator 2 in 4DX at the end of the month, and I have tickets. Terminator 1 is a slasher movie with a robot.
KitLet's fucking go. That is a kit movie.
SteveI know. And Terminator 2 is a vampire teen romance? I mean, there are teenage boys in it. Um okay. I'm spoilers for the Terminator franchise. So do you know that Arnold Schwarzenegger is the bad guy in number one?
KitYeah.
SteveHe is the Terminator and he's trying to terminate Sarah Connor. And what makes number two so interesting, but has kind of been lost because of, you know, cultural osmosis, is that when he shows up in the second one, it is a twist that he's the good guy, like in the first 20 minutes, because it's like, oh fuck, the Terminator's back. Oh wait, he's back and he's good. There's another Terminator you gotta worry about. And number two is just like a great action movie. So number one's like a horror slasher movie with a robot assassin, and number two's a fun action movie.
MichelleInteresting.
SteveAnd number one, Terminator 3 sucks. You can pretend they're vampires.
KitYeah, I'm trying to see how that's a Michelle movie.
SteveMichelle, I'm talking if we were talking about who would like what more.
KitOh.
SteveTerminator 1's a little too gory for the Michelle O'Meter. She's not the biggest gore fan fan. She is not, no. Kit watches Sallow on Easter Sunday for kicks.
MichelleSo true.
SteveBut Terminator 3 sucks. Terminator. Most of the sequels suck. There is Dark Fate has a couple of good scenes where Arnold Schwarzenegger is an elderly Terminator.
KitThe only thing about Terminator I think I know outside of the cultural osmosis is the Christian Bale Get Out of My Way lights monologue, which is, I think, the greatest thing that has ever happened.
SteveAnd he was right.
MichelleChristian Bale is in a Terminator movie?
SteveYeah, he has John Connor in uh Terminator Salvation.
KitAnd he gets really at a guy who's in flight.
MichelleOh, that's the like him yelling at people behind onset thing.
SteveYeah, but did you hear it came out that everybody was like, he was right. This guy sucks. Yeah.
MichelleYeah.
SteveSo we were we were talking about that the other night.
MichelleIt's very stressful to me if I have to contend with not liking Christian Bale.
SteveI love him so much. He's great, except for the fact that he always works with David O. Russell. But anyway. Um remember when he said like uh he hopes that Mitch McConnell will let him play him after he played Dick Cheney in Vice? That was good. No, I didn't know that. I didn't know that. Yeah, that was pretty good. Because he was like, what shitty Republican can I play next that might die? Uh but I'm a Terminator lover. Most of the sequels are terrible. One and two you should watch. They rip.
MichelleI'll take it under advisement. I did love RoboCop. Phenomenal.
SteveI mean, yeah. It's not as good. Look, Terminator's not as good as Robocop. Very few things are. Terminator 1, just fucking Arnold massacring innocent people. He like kills like 30 cops in his police station. It's good shit.
KitTerminator rocks.
SteveYes, Terminator 1 Rocks. It's a robot assassin slasher movie. Terminator 2, some of the best stunts you'll ever see filmed.
KitHmm.
SteveGood stuff. Then there's a bunch of garbage.
KitMaybe we propose a trade where Michelle and I will watch Terminator 1 for homework. And then we'd keep going through the series that way. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Movie for a movie.
SteveThat feels fair. There's way less Terminators, and they're bad, most of them. Great news. A bunch of the Twilights are also pretty bad. I can't pro I can promise uh Twilight. Between now and when we record the bank.
MichelleOkay. That's fair. It's it's one, right? I do want to hear how you react to Breaking Dawn Part 2. Here my doubt. Same. You need the context of all the others to get it.
SteveHere's the thought. What if I jump straight to Breaking Dawn part two and try and figure it out as I go?
KitYou are not gonna have the same experience because there's stuff in there that's crazy.
MichelleThe the path that everything about it takes is so weird that I think if you went in blind to five, it wouldn't even be fun to guess. It would just be confusing.
KitYeah, you would not understand why everything that's gonna be.
MichelleThe twists they make in those films are so strange.
SteveIn the next two weeks, I will try my best to watch a Twilight part one. So do you.
KitTwilight One, the first Twilight.
SteveThis could this could be my hoppers, though, and I can be like Michelle and never follow through on that homework.
MichelleI have at least one, maybe two more episodes to follow through on that promise. No.
KitAre you watching it like 15 minutes at a time?
SteveYeah, are you yeah, are you watching?
KitI need episodes of this podcast. Leave me alone.
SteveHey, they turned BlackBerry into a TV series. You could do it with hoppers. Did they? Who did it? Yeah, you know, AMC showed uh they added in deleted footage and aired Blackberry as a miniseries.
KitThey added? Yeah, it's a Matt Johnson joint. You know, he has like probably like true 5,000 hours of footage somewhere to just put in the movie.
SteveHe's just yelling, Blackberry! like a bomb over and over again. Okay, so um Matt uh goes to book a reservation at a buffet for Canada Day.
KitOh, we forgot to mention that um after they're ranting about Terminator, they find out that Mike Mike, they find out that Mike Mike's heart is fine. Mike, his heart is fine, but he's diabetic. Um and he says that if he had a wish, he would give it to them, which is very sweet.
MichelleThat is very sweet. But and then he asks if they can hang out again. Yeah.
SteveAnd they were like, fuck that guy.
MichelleThere's a part r after they're like whispering about um feeling so bad about him dying, they're just like talking about the day, and they're like, We thought it was gonna be weird, but it like turned out to be surprisingly wholesome. And in a way, it feels like they like filmed all the stuff at the amusement park and they're like, This came out too wholesome for our show. Yeah, I think you're right. What if we put ourselves just being real huge pieces of shit at the end? And he's like, Do you want to be my friends? And they don't even don't even say no, just just run away.
KitYeah.
SteveI think I think you're pretty right about that one. It feels possible, maybe even likely. They do just kind of have a nice day until he might passes out.
MichelleYeah. Yeah. And then they go home. Jay starts watching Lost, and Matt books them a table for Canada Day.
SteveI like that he tries to book it under Nirvana the Band, and then she says, How about a shorter name? And he's like, Nirvana the band.
MichelleI love the woman on the phone for this scene. I love that she's just like, What are you doing? Are you on a speakerphone? Can you be normal for like a second? And he won't.
KitLook, she's just trying to get through the day, and this man is not helping.
MichelleI'm sure she's put up with worse things on the phone, and she had just had no tolerance for silliness.
SteveAnd as we learn, seems like Canada Day is pretty packed at the Chinese buffet.
MichelleBig day for it.
SteveYeah. And we'll learn more about that next week. We will.
MichelleSo excited. Um, I did before we exit Canada's Wonderland, um have have a brief fun fact to share with you. I love fun fact. It's not about Canada's Wonderland itself. Um, the very first ride that Matt and Mike are shown going on before Jay joins them, is um one where like you get into a little thing and you can spin around in the in the ride. Are either of you familiar with Terra Queenshell Spinner? No.
KitWhat is that?
MichelleThere's a woman who, for the last, I believe, 14 years has been going to the Mall of America, which is a huge mall, big enough that there are some rides inside. There is a version of the same ride where you like are in a little contraption and you have wings and you can spin yourself around. She goes to the Mall of America about twice a week and just rides this ride over and over and over again. She is so skilled at operating the little thing that they sit you in that she can get 60 or more spins over the course of a two-minute ride. She goes and she rides it like a bunch of times. She gets about 500 spins in a day, and I believe has completed over one million spins in her lifetime. Her name is Tara Maldonado. I love her. People, she like got TikTok famous, I think, in 2020 or 2021. And people now like go to the Mall of America hoping to see her. Um, because like you can see, like people will get like a couple spins around when they're on these rides, and you can see her just like whirling like a helicopter on this ride. It's it's like honestly an amazing athletic feat to watch. I love her, she's so cool. I love that she found this thing that she enjoys doing and has just fully deeply committed to it. She says she never gets sick, she doesn't get dizzy, she just loves to spin.
KitThat's amazing.
MichelleYeah. Shout out to Tara, Queenshell spinner.
SteveWhat an absolute legend.
KitCome on the pot.
SteveSpeaking of, should we talk about that uh little vice video promoting Operation Avalanche?
KitYes, yes.
SteveKate, you sent this over. Could you tell us a little bit about it?
KitYeah, so this is a video that I had seen on YouTube and I could not find again. But shout out the fan site, never run out of the band, the website, uh, shout out Carson.
SteveThe legend.
KitThe legend. Um, it is a video that they did for Vice uh when they were filming this episode, um, where the whole conceit of it is that Jay, who only identifies himself as a musician from Brave Shores, um, is interviewing his best buddy Matt. Uh, because his movie Operation Avalanche is coming out. And Matt has more of a friendship with Mike than he does with Jay and kind of dunks on up the whole time. And it is extremely funny.
MichelleIt is. Honestly, like that short video was like what I think I expected this episode to be and what I wanted it to be more. It felt more like a regular episode of Nirvana, the band the show, than the boy itself did.
SteveLike, if Mike had gotten in on the act and like was like playing along with Matt, that would be delightful on the Vox, you know?
SPEAKER_05Mm-hmm.
SteveBut um, so there's a part where Matt's like, they Jay asks him about like what research he's done. And Matt goes like, oh, you know, well, we dealt with NASA. You know, he learned a lot about these genius German engineers, and he's going off on the German engineers that were great for the space program. And then he's like, and then they went and made things like this roller coaster, blah, blah, blah. And he's just talking about the brilliant German engineers, and I'm like, where'd they get the German engineers from, Matt? Where'd they get them from, Matt?
MichelleGermany. What are you talking about?
SteveWas there some sort of operation perhaps involving office wear?
KitAvalanche. Yeah. The new movie coming out soon.
SteveOh, was it originally titled Operation Paperclip?
KitNo, no, Avalanche. A-V-A.
SteveUm, yeah, so anyway, that video is really cute. Michelle, you're correct. I think it's what I wanted from the episode as well. Because they don't mention why there's this little boy there with them, which is even funnier.
MichelleIt was interesting. I I don't think we actually talked about this during the actual episode, but they play Never Come Down for like 15 seconds, maybe. Um, and then to have Jay come into that video and introduce himself as Jay from Brave Shores was really interesting. And I feel like I don't have the timeline of when that song actually came out in my head well enough to know how those were interacting, but it was very interesting.
KitUh the only thing I know is that Matt did like a Reddit AMA, like I think around the time Vice Land was about to come out or it had been announced or something. Um, and someone asked about Nirvana the band getting the the new season of the show, and he makes a joke about how Jay has such a big head now, now that Brave Shores has like a hit single and it's only in Canada, and he makes a big deal about the fact that it's a hit single, it's a one-hit wonder only in Canada. Um and so part of me is just like I wonder if this is him kind of dunking on Jay again for being, you know, musician from Brave Shores.
MichelleI don't know if this is actually I don't know if we've talked about this before. I have seen things on the internet that at some point I think that Never Come Down got used for like some meme of Donald Trump dancing and like got co-opted by a bunch of and like I wonder how much of that like only in Canada is like we're rejecting the like this weird right wing adoption of Jay's song.
KitYeah.
MichelleAnd we're just pretending that doesn't exist because like what else can you do about it?
SteveI don't like that one bit.
KitYeah. Jay talked about it in I think one of the QA's for the movie about how mo MAGA people like picked up the song and were like DMing the band Instagram account saying it's like their song now and there's nothing you could do about it, and like all this other shit. So I think him putting it in the movie was kind of like a a way to reclaim it in a way.
SteveYeah. Successfully.
KitYeah. Totally.
SteveThat overpriced vinyl sold out like crazy. Two pressings.
SPEAKER_05Mm-hmm.
MichelleAny other thoughts about boy?
SteveI'll be kid for a minute. It's okay. It's fine.
KitHell yeah. Um, I thought it was okay. Shocking coming for me. Um, not enough my chemical romance. I will say that. Should have been more.
SteveIt's not okay.
KitNot okay.
SteveIt's not okay. A.
MichelleIt brings me down. Well, we can fix that. We can work on fixing that. Make some MCR edits of the boys.
SteveUm You keep promising fan cams and never delivering, which is.
KitWhere's the Jay's dad one we were promised?
SteveShe had time to learn how to play the Black Parade, but not make fan cams.
MichelleWell, I already knew how to play the piano. I just had to remember it. Remembering is different than learning for the first time.
SteveDo do we have do we have a listener voicemail?
MichelleWe have a call from Michelle. Not me. Different Michelle.
SteveAlright. Let's listen.
SPEAKER_00Hi, I'm Michelle. Um, a Canadian. I'm calling from Vancouver, BC. Um, I just started listening to the pod. I'm a huge fan. Um, I wanted to let you all know that the weather here is really nice. It's 23 degrees Celsius. So it's sunny. I don't know what that is in Fahrenheit though. Um, I wanted to ask if any of you have watched Matt Johnson's other movies, like The Dirties, um, Operation Avalanche, BlackBerry. And I'm wondering if you would want to cover that on the pod as well after I finish all the episodes and the movie. Okay, thanks.
MichelleThanks, Michelle. That's so nice. Um thank you for calling and telling us what the weather was like in Vancouver. Um my dumb American ass did have to plug in a converter, but 23 degrees Celsius is 73.4 degrees Fahrenheit. That sounds like a lovely day.
SPEAKER_05Sounds like a perfect day.
MichelleYeah. Um, and to answer your question, um, mixed bag. We have seen some of them, I think different amounts of Matt's other movies for different ones of us. Um, but we are planning once we finish the show to do episodes for those. I'm really excited about it. Which ones have you guys seen? I don't think any of us have seen the dirties.
KitNo, I've seen Operation Avalanche, and I really enjoyed that. Nice.
SteveI've seen Blackberry part of Operation Avalanche.
KitOh, and I've also seen Blackberry. I've seen Blackberry, but that's it. Operation Avalanche is very fun.
MichelleI'm excited. I it was really nice. I don't think I had actually seen any of the clips because like what they put in as fake Operation Avalanche for the big time is different.
KitNo, that's the movie.
MichelleOh great, then I have seen Operation Avalanche. Um, but like seeing Matt in like 60s styling was very fun and interesting, and I'm really excited to watch that. It's so weird to see him with his hair like styled.
SteveYeah. It's how he tricked all those NASA engineers. But yes, uh, we will be covering them, all the other movies on this podcast. That's the plan. And um, I just want to say, just started listening, huge fan. Pretty sure Michelle hasn't gotten to anything about the New York Mets or Kevin Spacey yet. Or maybe she has. Who knows? I would appreciate it. Thank you so much. I had to explain what the New York Mets were on Blue Sky the other day to one of our listeners, and I realized that this is a thing I ramble about that most people have no idea what I'm talking about. Is that is that true?
KitI have thought about this a lot. About how much the Mets do come up, both in terms of content of the episode, and also there was like an a mini arc that we had where like maybe three episodes in a row were named something Mets related, and I was just like, I'm gonna put the kibosh on that moving forward. Like, we're not doing that again.
SteveUh that's fine. I just want to explain briefly to our other listeners because if it's one, it's probably some others.
KitYeah.
SteveThe New York Mets are a baseball team from Queens, New York.
KitWhat's baseball?
SteveIt's a great sport where they hit things with other things. Fuck you. Anyway. Well, I I love baseball. I'm a lifelong New York Mets fan. Uh the reason we talk about the gay Mets is because uh, unlike a lot of other teams, the Mets organization has really continued to commit to LGBTQ folks, uh, not just during Pride Month, but during other times. They also do uh a month-long Pride celebration where people often refer to them as the gay Mets, which culminates in a Pride Night at the stadium, which we all went to. My stupid brain and stupid phone full of text messages about other people who love the New York Mets didn't think that not everybody would get it. So I am gonna not talk about the Mets as much. We'll try to. And also there's my brief explainer.
KitWhat's Queens, New York?
SteveThe greatest place in the world.
KitCanada's Wonderland?
SteveListen. I have a lot of sense of humor about a lot of things. Queens, New York is not wonderful.
KitAnd I don't mess about Canada's Wonderland.
SteveWell, how many times have you gone, Kit?
KitTo Canada's Wonderland?
SteveYeah.
KitIt's a state of mind, baby.
SteveI went. I've been there. My feet have been on the grounds.
KitYour your feet have been in the grounds?
SteveYeah. Did you go on the log flume? I don't remember. I just remember being really angry that it was my tenth birthday, and my mom tried to make it up for me to by taking me to Canada's Wonderland, and I was a little shit. That was a that was all I remember.
MichelleMm-hmm. Well, I think we need to make a trick. Yeah. A trick back to Canada's Wonderland.
SteveNo, totally. Let's reclaim it. But anyway, I just I we had that where where we had that exchange with one of our listeners on Blue Sky. I realized it had to have been more than just them, and I just wanted to address what the fuck we're talking about.
MichelleWell, I really appreciate the explainer because I've I I don't I don't know what baseball was either. I was I was very focused at the hot dog while I was at the game.
SteveIt's a solid hot dog. Mm-hmm. It's a really good hot dog.
MichelleAnyway. Um I think that's I think that's it for for the boy. Any any parting thoughts? Are we excited to go to the Chinese food buffet?
KitI love going to a buffet. It's gonna be so tasty.
SteveYou know, we we never really had buffets outside of like hotel breakfast buffets growing up.
KitThat's crazy, dude.
SteveAnd the Pizza Hop buffet was a thing.
KitMm-hmm.
SteveBut I only learned about Chinese food buffets maybe five years ago.
KitWhat?
SteveWhat? It's not a thing in New York.
KitYes, it is. I've literally been to a Chinese food buffet in New York. It's not a thing in Queens. It literally was in Queens. I was in flushing. Tread carefully.
SteveIt's not a thing.
KitIn flushing?
SteveThat I went to when I lived directly next to Flushing.
KitOkay.
SteveIt was not anything we did growing up.
KitOkay. I'm not saying that your experience is invalid. I'm saying that buffets did exist. You just go to them.
SteveWe did a lot of dim sum in flushing.
KitOkay.
SteveWhere we had things, you know, brought to our table, but we never really did buffets. Tell me about this. Hook me up.
MichelleWell, I've got a great primer for you on Chinese food buffets in one week from now.
SteveHell yeah. Um, I'm gonna pre-apologize to all of our listeners. There's like a 60% chance I cry talking about the episode next week. Because the buffet is an episode that gets me so emotional watching it.
KitOh wow.
SteveI cry every time I watch that episode. So I'm excited. I mean, are you really surprised? No, it is real sad boy hours coming up. Um, but no, um, I'm very excited for that. And the bank is my favorite episode in Ronavan the show, which comes up after, and I am so hyped to talk about that.
MichelleIt's gonna be fun. Um, so until then, I don't think there's anything else to say other than nothing but a good feeling. What? What nothing but a good feeling? It's a bit. Oh no.
SteveHas she been replaced by a robot?
MichelleYeah. Oh, do I genuinely sound weird? No, it it's nothing like that. Nothing like a good feeling.
unknownOh.
MichelleDid I just articulate too much? You said nothing but a good feeling. Oh. I blacked out. Nothing like a good feeling.
SteveNothing like a good feeling.
MichelleNothing like a good feeling. Did I say it twice?
KitYeah.
SteveThank you for listening to Nirvana the band The Show the Podcast. We'd love to hear from you. You can email us or send a voice memo to NirvanaThePod at gmail.com. And we're also on Blue Sky and Instagram at NirvanaThePod. Our website is Nirvanathepod.com. Our show is edited by Kit with additional help by John. Special thanks to Anne Meadows for our logo. Oh, and Matt and Jay, if you're listening, we'd love to have you on the show.