SPEAKER_00 0:06

This is K2 in Canada, and you are listening to Nirvana the Fed and the Show, the podcast, the podcast, all about Nirvana, the Fed and the Show with Kitty Michelle and Steve.

Kit 0:14

We announcer Andy. Hi, hello, and welcome to Nirvana the Band The Show, the Podcast. The podcast all about watching and talking about Nirvana the Band The Show. My name is Kit, uh, your host this evening, and I'm joined by my two lovely co-hosts. I'm Michelle. Oh my god.

Michelle 0:47

Is that is that Euphagania of Eufogenia's house?

Steve 0:51

No, Dearnie, it's me, Mrs. Doubtfire.

Michelle 0:54

That's your first name. Is it?

Steve 0:56

I didn't know.

Kit 0:56

I thought it was Mrs. That makes sense. That's correct. That would be on your license. Hello! Hello. Hello, and who else is here with us today?

Michelle 1:06

I think it's only Mrs. Doubtfire.

Kit 1:09

Um, all right. Well, uh again, I'm Kit. This is Michelle, and that's Mrs. Doubtfire, and we're here today to talk about Vice Land season two, episode three, the buddy. But before we get into that, we must do as we always do and check in how we do it.

Michelle 1:28

We're so great.

Kit 1:29

So great.

Michelle 1:30

So, so good.

Kit 1:31

It was a drive by fruiting.

Steve 1:33

I'm out of Mrs. Doubtfire quotes. So it'll start there.

Michelle 1:36

I got worried for like half a second that you were gonna be Mrs. Doubtfire the entire time.

Steve 1:42

I literally have two quotes that I could think of.

Kit 1:44

So you're just gonna alternate the two of them for the rest of the episode? Yeah.

Steve 1:48

Hello, drive by fruiting. And I hate my ex-wife.

Kit 1:53

Been there, buddy.

Steve 1:55

Amen, sister.

Kit 1:56

Alright, well, I guess we've already determined how we're doing. Um, so what's- No kit, how are you doing? I'm doing so good. Thank you for asking.

Michelle 2:05

Kit's unfortunately under a non-disclosure agreement to say why she's doing so good.

Kit 2:10

I am not legally allowed at this time to explain why I am doing so well, but that's okay. On November 6th, I believe I will be allowed to say. It's very exciting. It's extremely exciting.

Steve 2:22

We'll post it on Blue Sky on November 6th to tell you why Kit was in a good mood.

Kit 2:26

Um, in the meantime, though, let's take a look at that whiteboard. Let's go through our dream guest list. Um, let's start from the top. Have we heard from the Canada arm? My favorite dream guest.

Steve 2:42

I think we gotta give up on that dream. No.

Michelle 2:44

Never.

Kit 2:45

You gotta what what's that saying that's on like every elementary school like wall about like you aim for the moon, and if you don't land, you'll be with the stars or something.

Steve 2:54

You miss 100% of the shots you don't take. Wayne Gretzky. Hang in there, baby.

Kit 2:58

Hang in there. I'm a cat.

Michelle 3:00

Read! If you reach for the moon, the Canadarm will reach back, is I think what's painted on the elementary school murals.

Kit 3:08

And then it'll like gently caress your your cheek.

SPEAKER_06 3:11

Aww.

Steve 3:12

Just skin coming off all the metal hooks rubber cross face.

Kit 3:16

It it's doing its best to be gentle, but it's very difficult. Does it have hooks? That's a great question.

Steve 3:21

I'm just gonna assume.

Michelle 3:22

I assumed fingers. I think we might both be wrong.

Steve 3:26

You think it's got little fingies?

Michelle 3:27

Maybe not five of them, but like finger-like grabbies. I'm imagining three for some reason.

Steve 3:34

You look like you're trying to make a funny shadow puppet.

Michelle 3:38

But I'm actually just doing a very accurate what I assume is impression of the Canada arm.

Steve 3:44

Right now, kit typing sounds like do you know when you call like customer service and you get one of those AI robots and it says, one second, please, and then you hear typing.

Kit 3:56

Sounds like I've become an AI. No, I'm looking, I'm like desperately looking at photos of the Canada arm to figure out if it would be soft or if it would be painful if it touched me in the face. So what's the deal? Do we got fingies? I don't think we have fingies.

Michelle 4:10

I it looks like just sort of like It's amazing that we've talked about this for so many episodes, and I don't know that any of us have actively looked up what the Canada arm looks like in I know what it looks like in my heart, but it's not what it looks like in reality.

Kit 4:27

It just looks like a bunch of tubes. I don't know if it would hurt or not.

Michelle 4:30

The Canada arm is the internet. It's just a series of tubes up there.

Steve 4:34

It's very large compared to this person, so I think it might hurt.

Kit 4:38

I mean, I guess it depends on like the velocity in which it's bigger than it can lift up a whole guy. Guys, did you know there's a Canada arm too? This time it's personal?

Michelle 4:49

Uh Canada to arm? Possibly. More arms for uh hugging and caressing.

Steve 4:56

Oh, look at these little guys making the Canada arm. This is all on this great audio medium.

Kit 5:02

Guys, trust me, it's incredible what we're looking at right now.

Steve 5:05

Three pizza men making the Canada arm. Look at this picture. That's racist towards Italians. I can do that. Seriously though, this guy looks like somebody just like a pizza man. He does look like somebody who belongs on a pizza box, you are correct.

Michelle 5:18

I am devastated to announce that there does not seem to be any fanfiction on archiveourwn.org.

Kit 5:27

This episode featuring Canada Rails. I don't know what you're talking about.

Steve 5:31

Faster than we've ever gone off the rails.

Kit 5:34

If you are listening right now, I need you to go to Archive of Our Own right now and start writing Canada Arm Smut. It's very important to me that you do this.

Michelle 5:43

Yeah, it's gotta be sexy fanfic.

Kit 5:45

I don't care who the Canada Arm is fucking. It just needs to be fucking.

Michelle 5:49

Anyway, uh, have we heard from Werner Herzog? Uh no, but I think the conversation that we just had is gonna summon him.

Kit 5:56

Going back for a minute. Look at this thing! Yeah, it looks beautiful on this audio medium. That's going up your butthole back out your mouth. Whoa, out my mouth.

Steve 6:07

Yeah. You told us to write erotic fanfiction.

Kit 6:10

I don't know if it coming out my mouth is erotic. That feels kind of painful. Not like that. Not in front of my salad. Werner Hertzog, come on the pod.

Steve 6:21

I think we did hear from him though.

Michelle 6:23

Did we? Oh my god, we did. How could I forget? We got a beautiful voicemail. Should we play it right now?

Steve 6:30

I think we should.

Michelle 6:31

I I don't know, I don't know how much we want to disclose this, but I know this is the third episode of season two of Vice Land for this podcast. But um uh we did we did record episodes one and two a little while ago, so this is our first time recording after uh a couple weeks' break, which was uh rejuvenating and exciting. And also, I think maybe all of us forgot how to start a podcast, so we're learning from scratch.

Kit 6:57

I This is very normal. This is how it's always been.

Steve 7:01

We got a voice memo from WH, and we're gonna play it right now.

SPEAKER_04 7:08

Lord Lavanda, the band, the show, the podcast. I'm a longtime listener, first time caller. I've called to say that I had a dream about you. A dream of friendship, of hope, a dream of playing the Rivoli. And I was thinking, Rivoli sounds kind of like Ravioli. What is your favorite type of Ravioli?

Steve 7:38

He kinda sounds like Hotel Transylvania Dracula at the end of it.

Kit 7:43

Werner Herzog Drak confirmed?

Steve 7:46

Hell yeah. Yeah, absolutely. He sent that in at 9.29 a.m. Start of the workday. We were very high on his to-do list. You know, he's right though. Rivoli does sound a lot like ravioli.

Michelle 7:59

Mm-hmm. Do you think he's eating ravioli for breakfast?

Steve 8:02

Werner's poppin' open a can of Chef Boy RD, just shoving a r a fork right in there.

Kit 8:08

Delicious. Do you think he heats it up or just raw? Straight can. Nice. He likes the taste of metal.

SPEAKER_04 8:15

I have to- It reminds me of dental fillings on my tongue.

Michelle 8:20

You sound so much like Werner Herzog.

Kit 8:23

Yeah, it's actually kind of uncanny.

Michelle 8:25

Yeah, that's so strange.

Steve 8:27

You didn't you didn't leave that voicemail, did you, Steve? I'm lactose intolerant. I can't eat ravioli. Why would I ask that?

Kit 8:33

Great. You're you're so right. Why did we even think that?

Steve 8:36

Jesus. Why would why would I, of all people, go into a weird fugue state and call into our own voicemail early in the morning as Verna Herzog? That does not sound like something I would do.

Michelle 8:47

No, not at all. Um so you can't even answer the question that he's posed to us about your favorite kind of ravioli.

Steve 8:55

No, that's all on you two.

Kit 8:56

Wow.

Michelle 8:57

I mean I mean most of them are good.

Kit 8:59

Yeah, I really like a like a veggie type one where it's just like cheese and spinach.

Michelle 9:04

I had I had a really good um sweet corn ravioli this summer. So I'm gonna say that one. That sounds nice. It was really nice. Had a little calabrian chili in the sauce. Fancy ravioli. Oh yeah. I'm sorry. So the body can't participate.

Kit 9:19

No, we haven't finished our list. Um, have we heard from anyone else related to Nirvana the band? Jared, Kurt, Bobby, Matt, Jay, Jay's dad, Jay's Dad, who we may or may not be removing from the whiteboard, TBD.

Steve 9:37

Uh that lady outside the CM Tower, Spider-Man, Mary Hoho Lady. Mary Hoho Lady. We should get her on the pod.

Michelle 9:48

Um, no, sadly, not yet. I mean, shout out to to Luca, our friend, our close personal friend Luca. Thank you for coming on the show. Um and uh I don't know, maybe maybe tell your friends. Don't do that. Sorry. I'm so sorry.

Kit 10:04

The only people you're allowed to talk to are Werner Ritzog. Again, please get Werner on the pot. We already did. You're right, but like again.

Michelle 10:12

I I want to have a conversation with him. I don't want him to just call in as a fan of us. I want to talk, I want to talk to him. He might be nervous. We can all be nervous together.

Steve 10:25

I wouldn't be nervous. I would.

Kit 10:27

Alright, well, we've gone through all of our dream guests on the board, to my knowledge. So let's keep on moving. Uh one more line item before we get to the buddy, Michelle. Did you watch Hoppers yet? Yes. Bam, bam, bam! I feel like I might be tricked and deceived.

Michelle 10:45

I have seen Hoppers, the film from 2026 by Disney Pixar. Um, and uh I just I'm really sorry, because you were right. I really enjoyed it. It it checks uh a lot of boxes for me. Beavers. Love them. Lil Robots, big fan. Uh messages about environmentalism, sure. John Hamm being an evil mare, sort of evil, questionably evil. Uh I saw hoppers and I loved hoppers and it was great. Um, and I'm sorry for taking so long to watch hoppers.

Kit 11:21

And ever, this day would come.

Michelle 11:23

And I'm sorry for lying about not watching hoppers, and also lying about watching Hooper.

Steve 11:28

You finally got to see my favorite thing, the Vanessa Bayer shark that looks like Vanessa Bayer.

Michelle 11:33

Yeah, that was also in Hooper, but Yeah. She was uh no, it it really it really looks like her, and she was great.

Steve 11:41

Now I can share with you that when we saw Hoppers in the theater, in the third act where it becomes a body horror movie, children were screaming and running out of their seats.

Michelle 11:53

That makes sense.

Steve 11:54

It was great.

Michelle 11:55

This is very spooky, but I loved it. What what a great movie. I know that everyone's been on the edge of their seats waiting to know whether or not I had finally seen Hoppers, and you can finally rest easy, knowing that I have an I think I gave it um a four and a half stars on letterboxed.

Kit 12:11

I feel like everyone just breathed like a big sigh of relief. All of our listeners. Yeah, you can't. You've been waiting for this. Well, now that Michelle's seen Hoppers, I don't think we have a recurring bit anymore.

Michelle 12:20

You want me to go to like the Eternal Sunshine machine and have it wiped from my mind? Yeah, that'd be great.

Kit 12:25

I'll check in next episode.

Michelle 12:27

Yeah, I'll come up with something else that sounds like hoppers to pretend like I've seen. Perfect.

Kit 12:32

Avatar.

Michelle 12:32

What?

Kit 12:33

Last airbender?

Michelle 12:34

Yeah.

Kit 12:34

What about what about it?

Michelle 12:36

Never mind.

unknown 12:36

Hello!

Kit 12:39

Alright, hey everybody. Um, we are now talking about Vice Land, season two, episode three, the buddy. In this episode, Jay wants to attend a music industry party uh by himself. While Jay is at the party, he makes a new friend named Tony, and they cook up a plan to book a show at the Rivoli. That's what happened on the Buddy. What did we all think? One of my faves.

Steve 13:04

Great up.

Kit 13:04

Really good. We want pad thai. Oh.

Steve 13:07

Guess what I ordered for dinner tonight after watching this episode?

Kit 13:11

Pizza?

Michelle 13:11

Pad Thai?

Steve 13:12

Yeah, I had a delicious pad thai.

Michelle 13:14

Pad Thai pizza? Pad Thai pizza.

Steve 13:17

No, thank you.

Michelle 13:18

I think that would be delightful. Hate crime. I think that sounds like a beautiful fusion cuisine.

Kit 13:23

I agree. I thought this episode was really fun. I always really enjoy it on my rewatches.

Steve 13:28

I had so many feelings watching this one.

Kit 13:31

Before we get into that, how many times did you watch this episode? One? Oh! Wait, there's no further finger? You only watch this once? Yeah. Once were you busy?

Michelle 13:41

Five. I was incredibly busy, actually.

Steve 13:44

But um I only had enough time to watch it once. I had previously taken notes from earlier watches. So loophole. Um but yeah, I haven't watched I watched it today and I watched it a couple weeks ago. Wow. So that's two, but only only once this week.

Michelle 14:03

Yeah. This feels like progress. Yeah. Sorry, I like to do research and be thorough. I did watch it four times. So Whoa. Maybe maybe we can only say three because technic one of them technically it was on the TV, but I fell asleep on the couch. Um, which is not an indictment of this episode. I was just a very, very sleepy guy that day. Um, and nothing was gonna stop me from falling asleep. But the other three times I stayed awake and I really enjoyed it. What's it like being me? Uh watching it four times.

SPEAKER_06 14:32

Yeah.

Michelle 14:33

Um well I've got I've just I'm really excited to dig into some some really emotional um psychoanalysis of these guys. So I feel like maybe, maybe you're haunting me.

Steve 14:46

This makes me so happy.

Kit 14:48

My god, it's a real world reversal. I'm so excited. Well, the episode opens with Matt watching Mrs. Doubtfire, and he says that he has a plan, the plan that will actually get them the show at the Rivoli. Uh, but Jay isn't interested this time around. This time he wants to go to a party, a music industry party where there'll be music people. And unfortunately, that means Matt can't come. And they have this really weird, awkward interaction in the entryway.

Steve 15:19

Before we even get to that, there's a tease at the beginning of this episode. Because it says Matt, Jay, and Tony try to get a show at the Rivoli.

Kit 15:27

You're right at the very beginning in the title card.

Steve 15:30

They tease this mysterious fellow named Tony. Anthony Bourdain, perhaps?

Michelle 15:34

I did spend uh on my on my last watch of this episode, um, spent most of it wondering how much Matt thought about this particular episode of the show while making Tony the movie. Because the answer is not zero. There's no way it's zero. I think it's probably less than I'm imagining, but I would like somewhere between zero and every single day that he was making the movie, haunted by the persona of Tony.

Steve 16:05

Do you think he tried to put giant teeth on Antonio Banderas? God, that would be amazing. He's just making ketchup with uh Dominic Cesa. No, he was mixing it up. Hmm, yeah.

Michelle 16:17

Someone gets the leather jacket Well, Dominic Cesa had the leather jacket. Oh. So he was thinking about him the whole time.

Steve 16:24

Mm-hmm.

Michelle 16:24

I'll add this to the list of questions.

Steve 16:26

Okay, you still haven't seen Tony, have you?

Kit 16:28

I have not, no. Sorry for the catch-up spoilers. I no, I'm not gonna remember any of that. Don't worry about it.

Michelle 16:35

Spoiler, Antonio Banderas does not have giant fake teeth in it.

Kit 16:39

What?

Michelle 16:40

And and those are the only two things we're gonna say about Tony.

Kit 16:43

I will be logging this on my letterboxed negatively.

Michelle 16:48

Yeah, okay.

Steve 16:50

You know me. Things have changed. You've changed. I don't even think you follow us on Letterboxd.

Kit 16:56

I made a letterboxed account because I think everyone was bullying me about it. I have only rated one movie. And then I deleted it off my phone immediately, and I have never returned.

Michelle 17:08

Kit, would you like to tell the people which is the single movie that you ever logged?

Kit 17:13

There is uh an anime OVA that I logged. It is free on YouTube. The anime is called Cipher from 1989. Uh, the description is two brothers are in the spotlight. One a movie star making a football movie, the other a musician who occasionally goes to school. What will destiny bring them? It's phenomenal. You get so many shots of the Twin Towers in this. And does any of this movie make any sense? No. No. That's crazy.

Steve 17:48

Oh my god.

Kit 17:49

They got so many in Cypher. It it's actually so good uh in that it's really bad. And I downloaded Letterboxd to my phone, made an account, rated that one, and liked it, and then deleted Letterboxd, and I never opened it ever again.

Steve 18:07

Good for you.

Kit 18:08

Thanks.

Steve 18:09

Real, real king shit. Michelle and I out here logging movies all the time, liking each other's reviews.

Kit 18:15

I write down all the movies I see in a notebook. So if I ever want to that's kinda like Letterboxd. Yeah, but I don't rate them. I just wrote like today I saw redacted, redacted, redacted Hoppers. Ghostbusters 2? Yeah.

Steve 18:30

Here the one good thing about Letterboxd is I'll say this. Whenever my friend Zach watches a movie, I will inevitably see a like come up on my notifications, and then I know within 10 minutes I will be getting a series of texts discussing that movie. Because it's like, Zach liked your review of the Christophers. And then like I'll be like, here it comes, and there we go. Shout out Zach, you're a delight.

Kit 18:54

Shout out Zach. So yeah, Matt and Jay have this like really uncomfortable conversation in like the foyer of their house about how Jay is gonna go to this party and they don't have to do everything together. And Matt is like pretending that he's so cool and chill with this, but he's very clearly not.

Steve 19:10

Did you two notice the on-air sign turned on behind Matt that comes into frame when he starts flipping out? No. Up on the shelf, there's like an on-air sign lit up, and it was like, does Matt put that on before he makes plans?

Michelle 19:23

How did you notice that? Um, when you only watched it once, I thought that was like rewatched through the street.

Steve 19:29

This is just how my brain works, Michelle. Incredible.

Michelle 19:32

Um, no, I didn't notice that. That's fun.

Steve 19:34

That's why I couldn't watch past lives more than once, because all I could clock was the terrible extra.

Kit 19:38

What was wrong with the extras? I haven't seen that one.

Steve 19:41

They are just high school theater production, peas and carrotsing all the way. Uh but anyway. It feels to me like Matt is trying not to be upset, but he just can't get there.

Kit 19:59

Yeah. He's trying to be like really chill and blasé about it, but it he just doesn't have the the tools to do that.

Steve 20:06

Yeah, like I don't think he's like pretending to be cool. I think he's desperately trying to be okay, and just and that made me sad. Mm-hmm.

Michelle 20:13

Yeah. It's a very um it's it's a very charged interaction where like they both feel like they're not getting what they want out of each other and like out of the world. And um Jay is he really wants to be a serious musician who goes to music industry parties and uh it feels like he needs to do that by himself. But Matt has the plan. It's a very, it's a very interesting like setup for the rest of the episode. I mean, I I think like knowing that the whole thing is um parodying Mrs. Doubtfire, like it kind of does feel like a like on the verge of divorce type of fight. And they really capture that like very uncomfortable energy of I'm in the room and my friends or my parents are having a big fight and I don't know what to do.

Steve 21:01

Yeah, it really does feel like have you know, have you ever gone like on a double date and the other couple you know is destined for disaster?

Kit 21:07

Yep.

Steve 21:08

That's what it felt like. Yeah, where people are gonna start asking, why don't you know anybody else? And I gotta go on my own. And like it's a little I feel bad for both of them in this.

SPEAKER_06 21:18

Yeah.

Steve 21:19

In this moment or in this whole episode? This whole episode. This was gonna be my big takeaway. I owe Jay an apology. We're so bad.

Michelle 21:26

Wow. This is big. Um, that's literally one of the notes that I had written down is I just feel so bad for both of them this whole time. Yeah. And like they're both doing things that are shitty. They're both like very self-conscious and weird and sad. And um, I don't know, it's it's hard not to sort of feel for both of them in various moments.

Kit 21:51

Yeah, so Jay ends up going to the party by himself, no mat. He goes up to the front door to get in. His I it it's unclear. Me if he was actually invited to this and like wasn't on the list, or he just heard about it and decided to go, but he's not allowed in for some reason.

Steve 22:08

It feels like he just heard that it was happening, like somebody mentioned it on Facebook or whatever.

Kit 22:13

Yeah, so he's not allowed in. He tries to like weasel his way in with like a very uncomfortable interaction with like a woman who is trying to get in. It does not work. And he ultimately climbs in through a window in a back alley to get into this party.

Steve 22:28

Mm-hmm. This party is the only time I have ever cringed watching this show.

Kit 22:34

Oh, really?

Steve 22:35

Not because of what happens to Jay, just because this looks like hell on earth to me. Too many people, too close together, tr no idea where personal space is, low murmurs that are too loud at the same time of people talking, a bunch of pretentious assholes making fun of people. This is every party I got dragged to in Williamsburg in the late aughts.

Kit 23:00

Uh-oh.

Steve 23:01

I don't know. I know I'm a commercial that doesn't like anybody, but like, this party seems like hell. Didn't either of you think that? Does this look fun to either of you?

Kit 23:09

I mean, I think the part of the problem is that Jay, because he's such a child, doesn't know how to talk to people. And so, like, there were definitely moments where I was just like, man, if you were a little more emotionally intelligent, I feel like you would be having a good time right now. But also there are moments where I was like, these, like, I think there is a the scene where he's in like the dining room and like there's like two people making fun of him. I was like, this sucks. This sucks so hard for you. I feel really bad.

Michelle 23:37

I feel like this the party is like my worst nightmare of what it would be like to go to a party where I don't know anyone, where like I'm sort of just like standing on the edges of groups and not knowing what to say, how to interact with anybody, um, or like an attempt at a joke, everyone just sort of stares at you blankly or actively makes fun of you. And so it it is hard to watch. Not because the party itself seems like actively terrible, but Jay's experience of it does seem actively terrible.

Steve 24:11

There were people walking sideways to get between other people. That is too close. To be fair, I was just thinking about it, not counting weddings or family events. I don't think I've been to a party since pre-COVID.

Michelle 24:25

I was gonna say, I feel like this this feels like something that was very normal in 2017 and and is maybe not as much part of uh my life and maybe other people's lives. But it doesn't feel that crazy.

Steve 24:41

I think we've just really figured out that I just don't like socializing. Um But yeah, no, they're so mean to Jay for no reason. He's talking about how he's off doing his own thing, and they're like, Oh, your band broke up, and he goes, I feel like you guys are making fun of me, and they're all like, Yeah, we are. And that's so mean.

Kit 25:00

Yeah, I mean, it is a bit of a mixed bag though, because like on one hand you have that interaction, which is like very uncomfortable, but then you have the other one where like he's talking to somebody in like the living room, and he's there, there's like two women, and he's like, So which one are you going for? And I was like, I'm going to throw up on you. Yeah, this is so nasty.

Steve 25:16

That seems like such like a teenage boy way of talking about being at a party with women.

Kit 25:21

100%.

Steve 25:22

Yeah. Yeah, that one is really gross, and I do enjoy the face the guy gives him of like, what the fuck, man?

Kit 25:28

Yeah.

Steve 25:28

And but then he's leaving and he bumps into somebody.

Kit 25:31

He does. He bumps into someone with an accent I cannot place. It is sometimes British, sometimes Australian.

Michelle 25:40

Australia, Austrian.

Kit 25:42

No, hello. Like it's just like wearing a leather jacket, hilariously bad teeth. Um, and his name is Tony.

Michelle 25:50

Love him. I did think it was very funny that uh when Jay initially the like fake out of Jay recognizing him and saying, Oh, uh, you're Steve Coogan is That was really funny. It's really funny. It's maybe a little rude to Steve Coogan, who I think is a pretty handsome guy and doesn't have teeth like that or hair like that, but is also like known for his like outlandish, alternate persona, so that feels like fun, layers on layers. Uh what's his name? Alan Alan Partridge.

Steve 26:22

I would love Matt Johnson just doing an Alan Partridge impression. Are neither of you Alan Partridge fans? I don't know what's happening right now.

Michelle 26:30

I only very vaguely know about Alan Partridge because it came up in a conversation with some friends the other day. It was like was literally the first time I had heard of it. I know Steve Coogan from other stuff, but I I Alan Partridge was new to me.

Steve 26:43

I feel like Alan Partridge is very kit-coded. Who is this person? Steve Coogan plays a character, and he's been doing this for like 20-something years, named Alan Partridge, who's a completely inept TV host and radio DJ who is just like both inept and highly offensive, Matt Johnson style. Okay, we're so back. And like they the bit they keep doing is that they keep giving him TV shows and radio shows on the BBC and other channels.

SPEAKER_06 27:10

Mm-hmm.

Steve 27:10

And he does them in character, and there's like a narrative that runs through all of these shows, and like he has like three or four books that are like autobiographical.

Kit 27:21

There's like a in the perspective of this Partridge character?

Steve 27:25

And like at least one movie, yeah. That's Die Hard in a community radio station.

Kit 27:31

Oh.

Steve 27:31

Anyway, Alan Partridge rocks. It's really funny that he said he looked like Steve Coogan, because it is uh not not accurate. It was like a mad magazine version of Steve Coogan, is what Tony looks like. How do we How do we feel about this little getup Matt's got on? I love it.

Kit 27:47

It is definitely something that a child would think is cool, where it's just like Exactly. Leather jacket, black hair, band shirt, band shirt.

Michelle 27:58

Beauty mark. The beauty mark, that's right. Honestly, I think the especially in the handful of scenes where Matt is like between characters, between Matt and Tony, and he has Beauty Mark no wig, he looks great. And maybe he should have that on all the time.

Steve 28:14

The the Duran Duran cut-up t-shirt, yes, please.

Michelle 28:17

I pause. I couldn't quite tell. It does seem like there's a chance that he is wearing Jay's leather pants from the banner. He's wearing some very tight black pants. It was hard to tell what the material was, but I'm choosing to believe that he was wearing the pants that ripped and showed Jay's penis to all of Queen Street.

Kit 28:37

Which is very funny if you think about later in the episode, because Matt's balls are just straight up out in one of the scenes.

Steve 28:44

Mm-hmm. What I think is really sweet in this scene. Is false? Yeah, it's false. That's it. They're not the worst I've seen.

Kit 28:53

Interesting praise question mark.

Steve 28:55

I don't want to go down this road. But anyway, besides what I was originally gonna say was what I think is really sweet is that Matt, he's trying to puff Jay up, like bring him in and make sure Jay's having a good time. And also, like, he gets like the business card for Jay. And he's kind of like he's playing a hype man here. He's not like trying to get Jay to leave or keep Jay all to himself.

Michelle 29:19

I mean, he's he's just trying to spend time with the kids.

Steve 29:24

I did enjoy the previous scene where Matt is watching Mrs. Doubtfire and mouthing all of the lines of dialogue. Yeah. And just sitting there so sad, as you can tell as he was a kid who had HBO that watched Mrs. Doubtfire whenever it was on, and was just like, how could they not know? It's their own father. And then you watch his face light up as he realizes he could dress up like Tony. Don't follow me upstairs. That him telling Jared, Don't follow me was so good. It's really nice. Also, Matt almost admits it when he thinks Jay has like clocked him immediately.

Kit 29:57

Yeah, there are so many moments in this where it it's clear that he's about to admit it, and then it just goes by the wayside and he's like, actually, never mind, I'm still locked into this.

Michelle 30:06

There's one of them where he like genuinely just turns to the camera, I think multiple, and he's just like, This is all this has almost been revealed so many times. Yep.

Kit 30:15

Yep.

Michelle 30:16

It really, it really tickles me as a running joke.

Kit 30:19

Jay meets Tony. Tony Rocks is very hyping Jay up, making him feel comfortable. He and Jay are getting into a bunch of conversations at the party, like Jay is doing really great, getting like business cards, all this other stuff. And Tony has a plan to get them into the Rivoli, which is exciting. And so Jay comes home, assuming like very early in the morning, and is like, I've got this huge plan. I came up with it all myself. I'm gonna explain this to you. Matt, who is asleep in the bunk bed, allegedly is very excited.

Michelle 30:57

The the moment where Jay comes home has one of my favorite lines of this episode where Matt pulls back the curtain and Jay's like, Why are you out of breath? And he says, I was having a nightmare that I was chasing a big piece of cheese, and I finally caught it. And uh it's just a it's a perfect, it's a perfect lie. It's so beautiful to me. I love it a lot.

Steve 31:20

And I love Jay's empty little head. He one doesn't notice he's erasing the exact same plan he's about to write. And two, doesn't realize that Matt's wearing the exact same ripped t-shirt. Mm-hmm. Because he's so high on Tony. Yeah. He wouldn't be. They were talking about did you know that there was a restaurant at the Rivally? And uh we got some conflicting information about whether or not that's a good thing.

Kit 31:43

I mean, I think at this point it's it's pretty clearly in the negative, right? I don't know.

Steve 31:48

I don't know. We've in an upcoming episode, we got word that the food isn't that bad.

Kit 31:53

Oh yeah, you're right. I forgot about that. Forgot to peer into my crystal ball.

Steve 31:57

We're gonna need to go and eat there and find out for ourselves.

Michelle 32:01

There's no way for certain until we try it ourselves and get the extra spicy pad thai.

Kit 32:06

I just don't think anything called Wookie balls could be bad. Do you think it they're Wookie balls because they look like the Wookie's balls?

Michelle 32:14

Yes. You think they're like hairy?

Kit 32:16

Yeah, are they hairy?

Michelle 32:17

That doesn't sound good to me. Oh no. You got you gotta put uh so many qualifiers on the Rivoli, put Toronto, put food, put minus testicles.

Steve 32:30

The Toronto Star has how to make Rivoli's crispy Wookie balls.

SPEAKER_06 32:34

Crispy?

Michelle 32:35

Oh, I don't like the faces you're making. They're bad. Hold on.

Steve 32:40

It looks like a clump of bird seed.

Michelle 32:43

Oh, that's not what I expected them to look like at all. They've got so many sesame seeds on them.

Kit 32:48

They do. No. Thank you. I would eat the shit out of that.

Michelle 32:52

That looks great.

Kit 32:53

I just didn't think it would look like that.

Michelle 32:56

Not in a bad way, just in a it's like a it's like an arancini, but like uh lightly Asian inspired. Pan-Asian Arancini. Wow. Steve, what I'm learning in this episode is that you really hate the concept of uh Italian pan-Asian fusion cuisine. No Pad Thai pizza, no sticky race arancini. I just they look gross, and they're called Wookie Balls. It's very small-minded of you. I'm I'm shocked. Wow. Very unwoke.

Steve 33:28

Yeah. You got me. Do you want me to write my How I Left the Left essay?

Kit 33:32

Yes, please.

Steve 33:33

Mm-hmm. Me and Taylor Lorenz. Uh I would love to find that's how we find out she's a listener.

Kit 33:41

Just get like a bunch of angry messages written by Claude.

Steve 33:46

But anyway. Don't summon her. What do you think if you if you say I love AI three times, Taylor Lorenz descends from your ceiling? Yeah, 100%. But anyway. I I thought it was really cute that Jay starts to do the plan, realizes he remembers none of it, and goes, actually, this is Tony's plan. Mm-hmm. I'm gonna call him. And Matt goes, like, you can't call Tony. And for some reason, Matt forgot that the character of Tony had a Zach Morris S-ass cell phone. I love that. It's so perfect. I'm gonna go ahead on my screen and tap Tony. Call Tony on my mobile. And Matt's only answer is I gotta go to the bathroom outside.

Michelle 34:28

I love that interaction because I think the question for me is is that does that go unremarked upon because it's normal in that household, or because Jay is so excited about calling his new friend Tony that he's not listening? Or possibly both. I think both are equally likely. So maybe the answer is just a little bit of column A, a little bit of column B.

Steve 34:52

This is uh we have, you know, four guys living in this house with one bathroom, and they go, oh, just piss in the backyard. Unfortunately. Unfortunately, seems very real. It's interesting how infatuated with Tony Jay is so quickly.

Kit 35:06

He's got that Matt Johnson energy and a fun accent.

Michelle 35:11

True. A mysterious fun accent of many provenances.

Steve 35:15

But I also think this is like the first time where Viceland Jay has somebody thinking he's cool, not counting when he's dressed like Han Solo.

SPEAKER_06 35:25

Mm-hmm.

Steve 35:25

I was gonna say. No, but like this is the first time like he was himself out and about, and like somebody that wasn't Matt thought he was really cool. Oh devastating. And that is, and we'll get to the end of the episode later. The way with my apology to Jay, what I walked her away from this episode being like is this boy needs therapy.

Kit 35:46

Yep.

Steve 35:47

He is so deeply insecure that all he can do is la lash out at the one safe person to lash out at, which is Matt. You know, like when he says awful things to Matt, like Matt is the only safe person for when Jay feels overwhelmed to like say awful shit to. And I left this episode feeling really bad for Jay, just like deeply empathetic.

Kit 36:11

Mm-hmm. Yeah, that makes sense. Can we expect a note-sap apology to Jay McCarroll?

Steve 36:16

No.

unknown 36:16

Dok!

Steve 36:17

I've already done a notesap apology, I'm not doing another one.

Kit 36:19

To the Cloverfield Monster!

Steve 36:21

Okay.

Michelle 36:23

More deserving of your sorries than the subject of our podcast.

Steve 36:28

Real life creature, the Cloverfield Monster versus fictionalized Jay McCarroll? Yeah.

Kit 36:34

Who would win in a f like I hate to become a powerscaler, but who would win in a fight, do you think?

Michelle 36:39

Jay McCarroll or the Cloverfield Monster?

Kit 36:42

Yeah.

Steve 36:42

He would charm the Cloverfield monster with his piano skills and give him a little smile, and the Cloverfield monster would faint because it was so in love.

Kit 36:50

Yeah, I mean, I think if Jay had the Han Solo costume, I think it would be like a rap.

Michelle 36:56

Yeah. Only only Han Solo costume Jay. Regular Jay, I think, would get a building thrown at him as the Cloverfield monsters want to do. But um Han Solo Jay? I think I have to.

Kit 37:15

JJ, I am begging you, please make a new Cloverfield and make it really sexy.

Steve 37:20

Jerkin off all over Chicago.

Kit 37:22

Please. Yes, Chicago. It's gonna get freaky in Wrigley Field. What's that?

Steve 37:28

No, I can't.

Kit 37:29

Yes, you can.

Steve 37:30

It's gonna go down a rate of fire uh doing bath here.

Kit 37:36

So yeah, Matt Matt runs out of the room because now he has to pretend to be Tony on the phone. We see Matt's balls on the way out. I need us to acknowledge that. And now we are outside and Matt is pretending to be Tony on the phone talking to Jay about the plan.

Michelle 37:54

And getting Uber Eats. And getting Uber Eats. I love that the Uber Eats kind of handed it over the fence.

Steve 38:00

Would you want to when this man's balls are hanging out? You hand them over Uber Eats in his house? But no way. And then Jay said that he wanted Tony to really meet Matt, his best friend.

Kit 38:12

It's very sweetie. It's so wholesome seeing Jay talk about how much he loves Matt, where he's just like, This is my best friend, and I want you to beat him. Like that is so cute. Unfortunately, other things happen, but that moment is very cute.

Steve 38:30

This this is my favorite Matt breaking part where um Jay is like, oh, Tony's gonna like do the plan with us at the Rivoli or whatever, and Matt goes, Oh, and then he goes, Oh, I knew that. Oh, wait, wait, wait a minute. And it just seemed like IRL Matt Johnson forgetting the continuity of what was going on in the episode. It's really perfect.

Michelle 38:50

I think it's I like intentional or not, it's such a funny exploration of like how hard would it be to genuinely do a Mrs. Doubtfire?

SPEAKER_06 39:00

Mm-hmm.

Michelle 39:01

Where you are like going back and forth between two different people who know all the same group of people. It would be so hard. And a crime. But also so many things to keep track of.

Steve 39:13

I like that that's the running joke here is that like doing a Mrs. Doubtfire is just not actually possible.

Kit 39:20

Mm-hmm. Yeah. Unless you're like a sociopath. I think it's much easier if you are not as engaged in the people that you were trying to misses doubt fire.

Michelle 39:28

And it would only work on someone who is, for whatever reason, while you are Mrs. Doubt firing them, just like totally oblivious.

Kit 39:37

Yeah.

Michelle 39:38

A Jay McCarroll type. Which like he's not always. But in this episode, he's just dumb as a bag of rocks. And I love him for it. He's just so excited about his new pal that he doesn't have to be.

Steve 39:50

Have you two ever tried to uh pull off a fictional uh identity or a Mrs. Doubtfire in your lives? I'm busy. No.

Michelle 39:59

I don't have a big enough costume box for that.

Kit 40:01

Not even as like a teenager on the internet. Oh, like lying about who I was? Yeah, for sure. 100%. I was all up in the AOL chat rooms, like pretending to be like a totally different human being, but that was easy. I didn't know it was.

Michelle 40:13

It's easy to be a Mrs. Doubtfire on the internet. It's hard to be a Mrs. Doubtfire in real life.

Steve 40:19

That is our new merchandise.

Michelle 40:21

What?

Steve 40:21

It's easy to be a Mrs. Doubtfire on the internet.

Michelle 40:25

I was up in the AOL chat room saying ASL 83 females, San Francisco.

Steve 40:35

I like that other people were trying to like be weird perverts, and Michelle's like, I'm gonna pretend I'm an old woman.

Kit 40:46

A literal Mrs. Doubtfire.

Steve 40:48

Do you like where this original? I know you were hurting Mrs. Doubtfire, but it's way funnier to just imagine Michelle's rebellious youth is just her pretending to be senior citizens on air.

Michelle 40:59

Putting the little asterisk here and it's like crinkling a peppermint wrapper in my purse. What's everybody up to in here? In the AOL kids chat. Oh god. She was in kids only? That's the only one I was allowed in on my internet.

Kit 41:19

What? You could go to the other chat rooms. No one was watching. It's in some real dark spots on AOL.

Michelle 41:26

I figured that out eventually, but it took me a while.

Steve 41:29

I was playing the Scream uh role-playing game on AOL chats for many years.

Michelle 41:35

What a cursed place. What a bad internet we were raised on. No, it was great.

Kit 41:41

I kind of miss it. I think about GeoCities fondly like all the time.

Michelle 41:47

I do like how there was how nothing was retained from that and how hard it was to upload a picture.

Steve 41:54

You're never gonna guess who my you got custom you got male voice was. I'm guessing it wasn't Mrs. Doubtfire. And I'm guessing it was oo Kevin Spacey. If only. It was a fictional character from a series of films. Oh, a series of films.

Michelle 42:13

Was it was it the Scream Ghostface? Nope. I want one more clue. I don't want you to tell us yet.

Steve 42:19

They had an accent. Bourat. No, that's too that's too. We're talking late 90s, kit.

Kit 42:25

I want to believe. Uh had an accent?

Steve 42:29

Comedy character.

Kit 42:31

Borat.

Steve 42:34

I'm shocked.

Michelle 42:35

Neither one of you got this. Uh uh, I feel like my brain is in the like, I've never seen a movie before in my life mode right now.

Kit 42:45

B? Well, he couldn't say you've got he would just make humming sounds.

Steve 42:49

Okay, I'm gonna do an impression of Okay. Come on.

Kit 42:52

Um it's a comedy character. Is it an animated character or real life?

Steve 42:57

No, but think of me. If think of me now. Uh-huh. Think of what teenage me would think would be the funniest person to have do my email. And now I would probably still think it was the funniest person to do my email.

Michelle 43:10

Great grandma from Rhapsody Street Kids.

Steve 43:14

Email. Okay, here's my impression, okay? Okay. You got mail, baby. Yeah. Oh, Austin Powers. We literally just talked about this. I do feel dumb.

Kit 43:25

How did you two not think me and Austin Powers? I forgot. I was just hyped on Borat, to be honest with you.

Michelle 43:31

Very nice. I was for the last um 45 seconds trying to remember literally any other Sasha Baron Cohen character.

Kit 43:39

Yeah.

Steve 43:39

Uh Bruno? Oh thank you. The guy from Le Miz.

Kit 43:43

Oh fuck, he was in that, wasn't he?

Steve 43:46

Uh apparently playing Mephisto, aka Satan on Marvel's Ironheart. What is that? One of them TV shows nobody watched.

Kit 43:54

Oh interesting.

Steve 43:55

Um Borat 2? I've never seen Borat or Borat.

Kit 44:00

You've never seen Borat One.

Steve 44:02

Martin Scorsese's Hugo? I don't know what that is.

Kit 44:05

Is that the clock one? I remember seeing the posters with all the clock.

Michelle 44:10

I didn't see Borat Play the Clock.

Steve 44:12

Yeah.

Michelle 44:12

Yeah.

Steve 44:13

He just goes, My wife, my wife, my wife, my wife. So stupid. We've lost every listener we've ever. We had Luca on the last one, everybody's hyped. And this one we're talking about Borat for 20 minutes.

Kit 44:33

Is it true that when you got married, your now beautiful wife said you could only do a Borat impression like once during the wedding?

Steve 44:43

Mm-hmm. When did you use it? I I waited until like nearing the end of the reception where everyone was tired. Most other people were quite drunk. And I was like, hey everybody, look who it is. Maui.

Michelle 44:58

It sounds like that. You brought down the fucking house. Um for when when I got married, um my husband and I, we technically we self-officiated. We went, we were in DC, we filled out our paperwork where like you can be your own witness, um, very early in the morning, and then we like had a ceremony and a party later that day with all our friends and family is very lovely. But it was like six o'clock in the morning, we were sitting by the waterfront, filling out our paperwork, having a nice little private moment to ourselves, and then the literal first thing that was said to me after I signed the paperwork and made uh Patrick and I became husband and wife, was him going, You're now my wife. Um and that was really nice. Very nice, very nice. I feel like a fraud now that I've told you all that I've never actually seen Bo Rap, but I don't think you need to now. I think you're I think I've seen the important part, which is um him saying, my wife. Is nice.

Steve 46:05

I don't need to know anything else. I do really enjoy that kit seemed really offended on my behalf that I was told I could only say my wife once.

Kit 46:15

Dude, I was out there at my wedding saying that I was somebody's my wife like 15 times. And I eloped. It was just me, John, and like a camera person. Like I was having a little bit fun. Yeah, Jared was there. He was the one who photographed our entire wedding. That's nice.

Steve 46:33

My wedding caterer stored in the Capitol on January 6th.

Kit 46:37

With Michelle? Yeah. Yeah.

Steve 46:39

That's not a joke, by the way, listeners. Which part? Me and We literally found out years because we got married uh down south, um, where my wife is from, and we found out that our caterer stored the Capitol on January 6th.

Michelle 46:53

Oh man. Do you think they catered even?

Steve 46:58

They made a we had barbecue for our food, and they made some good pulled pork. So maybe that's why that's what they were shitting out on Nancy Pelosi's desk. Pull pork. Yuck. I like how Michelle's like, my husband was so sweet, and said, my wife and kit was like, I am in love. And I was like, my caterer tried to overthrow the US government.

Kit 47:21

Which is another type of love, um, in a way. Love of Michelle's favorite president, who will not be named.

Michelle 47:31

My favorite president is William Henry Harrison, because he wasn't president long enough to do anything bad. And I don't know anything about what he was doing before presidency. Don't tell me if he was a piece of shit. I thought you were gonna be like Hillary Clinton, because I'm still with her. That's right. Pokemon Go to the polls.

Steve 47:51

Well, the real problem is she lost the audience because she started with, I don't know poke who made Pokemon Go. And everyone's like, it's Niantic. We all know, we're all playing. It's Game Freak. Uh.

Michelle 48:00

It's the Pokemon Company. Didn't don't you look at the like six logos that show up while Pokemon Go is loading Hillary?

Kit 48:08

I got vaccinated and deleted Pokemon Go immediately. Because you had an F5G in your system now? Like, I don't understand the correlation between these two things. Yeah. Did you have did you ever download the Garfield Go?

Steve 48:20

Do you not know my Garfield Go podcast story?

Kit 48:22

Uh no, I do remember downloading Garfield Go and being like pretty amped on it because I was like, this is stupid. I'm so excited. And I'm pretty sure this was like farming Bitcoin on my phone before Bitcoin existed. Like it my phone got so hot and it didn't work, and I thought I got it.

Steve 48:37

First of all, I still have Garfield Go on my phone.

Kit 48:41

But secondly, Garfield Going to the polls right now.

Steve 48:45

So when Garfield Go launched, I was doing uh one of my other mini podcasts, and me being me, cold emailed the creators of uh Garfield Go, and I was like, love the game. We wanted to know lying immediately. Classics, Steve.

Michelle 49:05

My nephew loves the game. Can my nephew meet Garfield, please?

Steve 49:10

Well, they were doing this clear scam, which was like, if you play Garfield Go enough, you can unlock gift cards or Garfield plushies.

Kit 49:17

What I want on Garfield plushie.

Steve 49:20

I was like, hey, we were wondering, we don't want money, but would you be willing to advertise on our show doing a cross promotion where like we can have one of our listeners win one of the Garfield plushies? And they emailed me back. I have the email somewhere being like, well, we can't do that, but we can spell out the name of your podcast in coins. Oh my god. In the city of your choice on Garfield Go, and then your listeners can go there and pick up coins in the shape of your name. That sounds so much harder for literally every involved party.

Kit 49:59

Why would I travel all the way to a place to I'm going to Cincinnati to collect Garf coins.

Michelle 50:06

In the name of a name of a in what I feel like all of your podcasts have had pretty long names. I'm gonna walk six miles through some random place to get The Fan and the Furious.

Steve 50:22

I'm sorry, it my own my podcast was The Fan and the Furious Presents Vindicated. That's a long lock.

Michelle 50:30

Did you take them up on the offer?

Steve 50:32

No, I played hardball and I was like, come on, man, you're gonna give me a plushie. Did you get the plushie? No, they ghosted me after. They're like, coins are nothing.

Michelle 50:42

No, I want a plushie. This podcaster's not serious, they're just after free Garf plush.

Steve 50:48

And I was just like, I'm sorry, you what you're telling me is, and then I got indignant. I called emailed these people as a bit, and then I got indignant. And I was like, what you're telling me is you want me to run ads, and the perk is that people get to play your game by traveling. Where is that transaction here? My name is on your app. You were gonna put those coins down anyway. Exactly. Incredible. So, yeah, Garfield Go polse. Wow, we really lost the plot. I don't think it's been like 25 minutes. Well, we were talking about that karaoke uh event that I shared with you guys the other day where you could do karaoke with Hillary Clinton, Lynn Manuel Miranda, Jimmy Fallon, and Paul Rudd. We were not talking about that. This is a new thing to talk about.

Michelle 51:33

What? And I think maybe we shouldn't.

Kit 51:37

Kit, did you not see what I said that the other day? Sometimes things get posted in our Discord with our friends, and I look at them and I'm like, that's crazy, and then I just delete it for my brain immediately and move on.

Steve 51:48

Yeah, you can enter to win a night of celebrity karaoke with Lil Menwell Miranda, Hillary Clinton, what is she singing, Paul Rudd, and Jimmy Fallon.

Kit 51:56

Okay, like my immediate reaction was like I would rather be in a wood chipper. But my other reaction was just like, that's actually really funny, and maybe I would like to go because it sounds really fucking funny.

Steve 52:05

Hillary, it's you and me doing karaoke! Something about a president. It's my little man while Miranda doing karaoke.

Michelle 52:12

I just want to say that Michelle looks horrified. This looks like a horrified face to you. I don't know. You're smaller. Are you delighted? I feel delighted.

Kit 52:22

I canonically hate musicals. We all know this, but the period of time where we were all pretending Hamilton was really good was really fucking brutal for me. Like I talked to my therapist about it a lot where I was like, I feel like I'm being pranked on a national scale that we are all pretending this is good because I have heard this and it is extremely bad. I I enjoyed it. Damn. I enjoyed it. Look around.

Steve 52:44

I enjoyed it earnestly. Look around. How lucky we are to be alive right now.

Kit 52:49

Is this lyrics from the saw the songs? Yeah. All I know is about being a bastard man, woman, something.

Steve 52:57

A bastard, man, woman, something.

Kit 53:00

A genderless burn burger experience.

Steve 53:03

Yeah, I forgot that you two don't live at my house and have to see the ongoing bit we do of pretending to be Lind Manuel Miranda rapping about various things.

Michelle 53:13

I would love to live at your house and see that. We're gonna take out the garbage!

Kit 53:19

Like just That sounds less like Lind Menuel Miranda and more like Limp Biscuit. I'm not gonna lie.

Michelle 53:25

Keep rolling, rollin', Hamilton! What? The line between Lind Menwell Miranda and Limp Biscuit is is thinner than you think. I'm not throwing away my nookie.

Kit 53:38

Anyway.

Michelle 53:39

Wow, we really, we really it has been 25 minutes, I think.

Kit 53:45

They were magical. There is a flashback where we see Matt's point of view of everything that is occurred as Tony. Uh, they're in a limo. Uh well, Jay is like, I wish we could hang out more. Matt comes back as Tony with the limo, they go hang out.

Steve 54:05

Okay, so my favorite part of them in the limo. It's my favorite actual joke of the entire episode, which is they pick up the sex workers and the boobs on the one that is with Jay are blurred. Yeah.

Michelle 54:20

It is so funny. It feels like a continuation of like only Jay's swears are bleeped.

Steve 54:26

It is. And it's just it's such a good reference to the fact that they were like, Well, no, Jay doesn't even get to see boobs. Uh.

Kit 54:33

Poor Jay. Poor Jay.

Steve 54:35

The only boobs he saw was written on a calculator.

Kit 54:37

Even that was, I think, blurred out.

Steve 54:40

Unlimited money, Matt Johnson, getting a limo, hiring sex workers, champagne. Champagne.

Kit 54:48

Uber eats.

Steve 54:50

A huge Uber Eats order.

Kit 54:52

That's a big order.

Steve 54:53

The service charge on that would be astronomical. Oh yeah. So they're gonna go to the plan, is they're gonna go to the Rivoli. Jay is gonna say he's allergic to spice, and Matt is gonna go into the kitchen and dump a bunch of spice on top of the pad tie. Jay is gonna pretend he was allergic and blackmail them for a show at the Rivoli.

Kit 55:13

It's a solid plan.

Steve 55:14

I think it's one of their better ones. It's the plan.

Michelle 55:17

Do you think that would hold up in court, a judge being like, your payment is that you have to let these guys have a show? I guess I guess their plan isn't to go to trial. It's we will remove the lawsuit if you let us have a show.

Steve 55:29

Mm-hmm. Pretty good plan. It's a great plan. So barely able to keep together the Matt, Tony both being there for more than 30 seconds.

SPEAKER_06 55:39

Mm-hmm.

Steve 55:40

Because Tony is like, oh, I think you're ready to order food. And then Matt Jay's like, oh, we're gonna do small talk. And then he mentions Matt, and then Matt forgot that he was supposed to be there as Matt as well. And it's just this ongoing thing of Matt then showing up as a chef and just like not able to keep it together. And it's such a funny thing about the thing you were saying, Michelle, of like doing a Mrs. Doubtfire would be impossible.

Michelle 56:02

Oh, yeah. I love the scene where he's changing into a chef outfit outside, and like some people are sort of looking at him and he's like, Hey, what's going on? Uh, I'm I'm just a chef at the Rivoli and I'm a little late for my shift. A really beautiful lying experience where you just feel compelled to share more details than anybody has ever wanted or needed with somebody who did not ask for them.

Steve 56:25

And there's the great Jared gag that he holds the camera on the actual chefs who are not dressed like chefs, they're just dressed like regular people for like a good 30 seconds before Matt walks in dressed like Luigi from Ratatouille. With a with the beauty mark. This one is a lot of good visual bits. Yeah.

Kit 56:46

Matt comes back and he's he's still doing the Tony voice. He doesn't realize that he is in the chef outfit. Jay's really mad at him. Matt interprets that anger as, oh, he's figured out that I'm Tony. That's not true. Again, it's another missed moment where it's like, no, Jay's mad at you, not because he's figured out that you're Tony, but he's figured out that like you're still wearing the chef outfit and it's ruining the plan. They then get into this really brutal like fight where Jay starts saying some crazy stuff to Matt that I don't think Tony actually ever said, where he's just like, you can't fuck. Like you are bad at playing.

Steve 57:27

I wrote part of it down. It was Tony said, You're a fuck up, an idiot, you're a loser holding me back from my true potential, you're weak, can't fuck.

Kit 57:35

Can't fuck is crazy.

Steve 57:37

I'm sure somebody on Tumblr ran with that one.

Kit 57:40

Yep. But no, I don't think Tony said any of that.

Steve 57:42

No, Tony seems lovely.

Michelle 57:44

Yeah. Even when Tony comes back to like break things off, break off this budding friendship with Jay. Like Matt, Matt sees us and he's like, huh, okay. And he leaves and he changes and comes back as Tony, and I was like, oh, he's gonna be so mean to Jay as his new friend. But he just seems like this very kind and gentle, like, I gotta move on. You're gonna do great, just you and Matt, but I gotta leave after this dinner.

Steve 58:10

And this is where I turned around on Jay because like the minute his like anger dissipates, he's like, I need to leave to go find Matt. And Tony's like, no, we gotta do the plan! Mm-hmm. And then Jay's like, no, no plan until I say I'm sorry. So the kindest words you have for him. No, I I like I said, I owe him an apology. I don't condone his behavior, I stand by everything he did that was inappropriate, but I have more empathy for him now. That's great. Matt did nothing wrong.

Kit 58:40

Well couple things.

Steve 58:43

Name two. Left and right. The bank? We have we have gone over this. Matt did nothing wrong in the bank. Alright. Alright. Um so then Tony claims that he's gonna just pretend it and then like that he's allergic to spice. Mm-hmm. And and then Jay's like, you can't do that. You ordered it as extra spicy. And Matt says Tony starts choking to death, Mrs. Downfire style. Mm-hmm.

Michelle 59:13

Do we think the choking was caused by the enormous fake teeth? That plus a pile of cayenne pepper. And and eating a whole shrimp at once.

SPEAKER_06 59:24

Mm-hmm.

Michelle 59:25

Mm-hmm. Bad, bad combo.

Steve 59:28

This sequence of real people in the Rivoli, beautiful, perfect. There's the one guy who keeps commenting to Jay like the entire time and then is like, oh my god, is this guy okay? You have the woman who's making it all about her being like, My god, that was so scary. And most importantly, you have who I think was the security guard at the Rivoli, uh-huh. Who's like, who was joking?

Michelle 59:54

There's a line, you can't really hear it, but I saw it in closed captions where like you have Matt and Jay staring at each other, and that guy's there, and he's like, So nobody wants to talk. And I was like, What?

Steve 1:00:03

What's going on? He has he they start staring at each other and it's doing all the flashbacks. Yeah. And then that guy goes, So who was they cut back to them looking at each other. Then he goes, Who is it that was choking? And then they do a bunch of other flashbacks, and it cuts to them staring at each other again. So clearly the two of them were standing there silently staring at each other for like two minutes, and that's why the guy goes, So no one wants to talk.

Michelle 1:00:28

And then someone off to the side is like, I think they're in shock. And it's just so it's it's really good like interactions with the people around them.

Steve 1:00:39

Everyone doing their best work. I just really love the oh my god, it's so scary. Ma'am, it's not about you. She was really scared. Have you ever thought about how scary it was for her? No, she wasn't choking.

Kit 1:00:52

Imagine going to dinner and somebody chokes in fucking dots. That's ominous.

Steve 1:00:56

That would be pretty scary. I definitely have never seen anybody die at a restaurant.

Michelle 1:01:00

Me neither. And I hope it stays that way. Steve, you said that in a way that makes me scared that you have seen somebody die in a restaurant.

Steve 1:01:09

It was technically outside of a Roy Rogers.

Kit 1:01:12

Um, yeah, so they're staring at each other. We have all these beautiful flashbacks, this incredible song starts playing, and then they hug, they make up, everything is well again in Matt and Jay World.

Steve 1:01:25

The buddy was each other. They were buddies. Buddies.

Michelle 1:01:28

He's not heavy. He's my brother. So sweet. It is so sweet. Um, I really enjoyed this episode. I think I on on my first watch, I it was not ranked super high for me, but I think revisiting it, um, I really I enjoyed it more every time I watched it.

Steve 1:01:47

It operates on a different wavelength than a lot of the other ones. I feel like it's it's hard to say like when a character like Tony's in there. It's like a little less boisterous. It's like a lot more just kind of like character stuff and like a little bit of introspection, and it it's it's less frantic than a lot of the other stuff. Yeah, I agree with that. And it is more about their friendship in a way that's season one really isn't as much. I find like season one is more like, yeah, it's about their friendship, but it's more plan heavy. And now we're getting into the fact that season two is very much about what the state of their friendship is.

Michelle 1:02:26

Yeah, I agree. Mm-hmm. And I think like there's already been so much of that in like the burger is very focused on that like emotional relationship, and I think the boost is to an extent as well. Um, and so yeah, like getting to see like that Jay wants to be part of the music industry and he wants to have an identity apart from Matt, but they are once again drawn together. One can't exist without the other.

Steve 1:02:52

My precious boys are just beautiful. I love them so much. Them. Not just Matt.

Kit 1:02:59

Them both. We have grown so much. This is incredible. This is great.

Steve 1:03:05

I would still die from it.

Kit 1:03:06

Hey, that's fine.

Steve 1:03:07

Can't wait till Jay comes on this podcast at some point, and you're like, you guys are like, You know he like shits on you all the time.

Michelle 1:03:15

I would never blow up your spot like that.

Steve 1:03:17

Jay McCarroll's secretly listening to this podcast.

Michelle 1:03:20

No, I think he turned it off at like minute six of us. You want me to fuck his dad? No, no, respectfully appreciating his father.

Steve 1:03:31

In sack?

Michelle 1:03:32

Whoa. Whoa.

Steve 1:03:34

That's the most offensive thing I've said.

Kit 1:03:36

That's making it in, yes.

Steve 1:03:40

Anyway, friends, you're my buddies.

Kit 1:03:43

My buddies. You're my buddies.

Steve 1:03:45

Which one of us is Tony? Kit.

Kit 1:03:48

Why am I Tony? Are you saying I bad tea?

Steve 1:03:50

No, you have you have adorable chaos energy. I'm mad because I have cursed chaos energy. And I'm really awkward at parties. I don't know, I've never been at a party with you.

Michelle 1:04:00

Maybe our Tony has yet to find us.

Steve 1:04:02

That's true. No, Kit, you have chaos energy that's less horrifying than mine.

Kit 1:04:06

I think it's just because I used to wear a leather jacket all the time. And you have such a hard-to-discern accent. That's true. It could be from anywhere.

Michelle 1:04:14

And you're always uh walking around at that uh big eighties cell phone.

Kit 1:04:18

Yeah, it's really difficult to look around in my pocket. It's very heavy. You do a great job though. Thank you.

Steve 1:04:24

And you rented that limo one time and then paid women to be like, show us your boobs.

Kit 1:04:29

Yeah, that is something I did. And I think we all had a good time. I think you were like, hey boobs. Except for Michelle. They were all they were all blurred out for her.

Michelle 1:04:36

Yeah. That's true. It's terrible for me to go through my life that way.

Steve 1:04:40

With Duke Nukem 3D boobs in front of you. Yeah. Hi, I'm a hundred years old. I made a Duke Nukem 3D joke.

Kit 1:04:48

Um, all right. Well, I mean, I think that's it for the buddy. Do we have any last lingering thoughts before we wrap this episode? Love it.

Steve 1:04:57

I'm so glad we're back recording in this is a little I know it's been like a week for the listeners, but it's been like a month for us, and uh it's nice to be silly in this Zoom call again. Mm-hmm.

Kit 1:05:08

It's true. Yeah. All right. Well, if that is that, thank you all for listening. We'll be back here next week. And as always, thank you, announcer Andy, for our lovely intro yet again. And nothing like a good feeling.

Steve 1:05:23

Nothing like a good feeling. Nothing like a good feeling. Thank you for listening to Nirvana the Band's show the podcast. We'd love to hear from you. You can email us or send a voice memo to NirvanaThePod at gmail.com. And we're also on Blue Sky and Instagram at NirvanaThePod. Our website is Nirvanathepod.com. Our show is edited by Kit with additional help by John. Special thanks to Anne Meadows for our logo. Oh, and Matt and Jay, if you're listening, we'd love to have you on the show.