Nirvanna The Band The Show The Podcast
A show where we deep dive into every episode of Nirvanna The Band The Show in an attempt to book Matt Johnson and Jay McCarrol as guests.
Nirvanna The Band The Show The Podcast
Viceland S02E05: The B-Day AKA Why Have You Closed Your Doors to the Public!?!
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Meet us by the toonie, it’s time to talk about “The B-Day”! But we don’t have to make a big deal about it, don’t throw us a party or anything. This week we’re discussing fashion montages, the price of chicken nuggets, and how gross it would or would not be for a bunch of strangers to reach into your bag of chips.
Other topics include: our all-time favorite bands, eating food off of a stoop, and the vintage Internet videos that have broken our brains.
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It's your handy here from the filth site podcasting from pretending to schedule in Canada, and you are listening to Nirvana the Fed and the Show the Podcast, a podcast all about Nirvana the Fed and the Show with Kit, Michelle, and Steve.
SPEAKER_08We Nirvana the Bed.
SteveThanks, announcer Andy. And happy B-Day to Friend of the Show, Seth McFarlane. This is Nirvana the Band, The Show, The Podcast. A podcast about Nirvana the Band, the show. If you're hopping in on this episode, weird, most of you know what this is about. Anyway, how's everybody doing?
MichelleI have a question.
SteveYeah.
MichelleUh is is today the day we're recording Seth McFarlane's birthday? Today we're recording. I thought that you were gonna inform me that 420 was Seth McFarland's birthday, which would be amazing information. And I'm a little bit sad that it's not true, and I might just choose to believe that about him anyway.
SteveBecause I went through celebrity birthdays on 420 and celebrity birthdays today, day of record, to see if there was any crossover with any of the characters that we've brought in. Cloverfield Monster was unfortunately 421. So uh our good friend Seth McFarlane hits birthday is today.
KitIs it fair to call him a friend of the show? I think he's more of a a friend of me. Yeah.
SteveBecause we did never get a reply. It's true.
SPEAKER_11And we did uh make fun of him a lot, I think. A lot, yeah.
SteveHave either of you listened to his Muppets album? It's insane.
KitNo.
SteveOne quick note. He does move and right along with some person I don't know, and he's doing the Kermit part. And they go, Well, shouldn't you be doing the Fozzie part? And he goes, I'm not gonna play another silly bear. Oh, because of Ted. But then he has two different Ted TV series.
KitThere's two. Thought it was just the one where he's where there's Ted.
SteveNow there's a sequel. That one was a prequel. Now there's a sequel animated movie that Mark Wahlberg is back for.
SPEAKER_02Oh, movie or TV?
SteveAnimated show, sorry. Yeah. Animated show. Where he Mark Wahlberg's back, the whole crew from Ted.
MichelleThe depth and breadth of the Ted Cinematic Universe is upsetting. Nope.
SteveOh no, I'm fascinated. I've never seen a minute of Ted. The only person I know that enjoys it is friend of the show lights camera Jackson.
KitNo, not friend of the show. Friend of Steve. Friend of Steve. Good personal friend.
SteveOkay, without Googling, I need to just need the listeners to do this for me. You can DM me directly or you can email us. Do any of you know who I'm talking about when I say lights camera Jackson? Because I think it may be none of you. Crickets. We'll find out.
MichelleYeah, I'm excited to hear the answer, and I'm I'm like devastated in advance for you that the answer is almost certainly no.
SteveWhat if it's Matt Johnson that goes, love him?
MichelleThat would be a really fascinating development. Matt is listening to this, I'm sorry. And also please write in.
SteveAnyway, let's uh check the whiteboard. Uh have we heard from Matt and Jay?
KitNo.
SteveHave we gotten a cease and desist? Ugh no. Finally, I'll ask today, have we heard from the Canadian arm of the International Space Station?
MichelleI think I think we finally have. I think the transmission finally passed through space and time. What? And made it back down to Earth. Either that or someone's pranking us, and that can't be that can't be the case.
KitThat can't be that can't be true. Our listeners would never do that.
SteveNo.
KitNo.
MichelleAnd certainly none of us would do that to each other.
SteveI was gonna say, I can guarantee our listeners haven't. Um so should we go ahead and play that?
SPEAKER_07Yeah.
SPEAKER_00This is Canada Arm. I want to say that everything in Operation Avalanche is true. MacDon sent us the documents. They are trying to silence me. Don't believe their lies. Race podcast, BC Dub.
KitWow, the Canada Arm likes our podcasts. Canada Arm has an interesting accent.
MichelleI know, right? Canadian.
KitYeah, I didn't realize Canadian sounded like that.
MichelleWe've we've had a few on the show and I just I think everyone that we've had on the show has been from like Toronto. I know we have a voicemail from someone in like Vancouver, but maybe this is like maybe the Canada Arm is from Nova Scotia or Newfoundland or something. The accent is different out there in the It's very possible. In the Atlantic.
SteveBut I feel like the most important part is everything in Operation Avalanche is true and Matt Johnson has the documents.
MichelleThat's crazy. That is crazy. We'll have to ask him about the documents.
SteveWe should just see how that goes. So yeah, thank you, Canadarm. So we've now heard from Werner, we've heard from the Canadarm. All that really leaves is Matt, J and Jared.
SPEAKER_11And JJ Abrams.
SteveIs he back on the list? I thought we took him off.
SPEAKER_11He sort of appears when you least expect it. Somehow.
SteveIt's true. He was JJ Abrams returned. JJ has returned.
SPEAKER_08Kevin Space Lord the Pod on him.
MichelleNo, JJ Abrams has been lurking on his spooky planet filled with um clones of himself in vats, just just waiting and hoping and praying for the day that we bring up on this podcast again.
SteveIs that what happens at Rise of Skywalker?
MichellePart of it.
SteveI've never seen it, so I don't know.
MichelleYou're so lucky.
SteveI have something I have not seen Rise of Skywalker.
MichelleI have something brave and controversial to say. I liked it when sorry, sorry, sorry. You didn't let me finish. I didn't like that movie. I liked it when Ray and Kylo Ren kissed. Ah! Don't cancel me. Sure.
unknownNo.
SteveYou're a Raylo? Is that what you call it?
MichelleNo, no. I just I just thought it was a nice kiss in a movie, and he was his father's son again.
SteveI love a kiss in a movie. I'm never gonna complain about a kiss.
KitI'm gonna complain about it.
SteveOkay, go for it. Let's hear. That's fine.
KitJust when that happened, I am not one who talks or reacts to movies loudly in a theater. I did boo the screen at that part, which I'm sure other people loved that I did, uh, sarcastically. Yeah.
MichelleI mean that's fair. That's your right. I'm I'm not gonna defend my reaction to it. Uh it's just it's uncontrollable. And so I have a nice kiss. And then and then dying immediately after is so crazy? Disappearing into dust, actually.
SteveMm-hmm. Well, you're not gonna have to worry about it because they're probably never making a Star Wars movie again at this point. About this being a problem in the future.
KitI feel like they're gonna keep going. Yeah, they're gonna make another one.
SteveWe'll see which director signs on and has one cancelled next. Tyco YTD's on ice, yes. Anyway.
MichelleI think this has more to do with my general feelings about Adam Driver than um about those characters.
SteveThat you would like to kiss him?
MichelleUh yeah.
SteveOkay. I mean, I'm not turning him down. Oh right. That would be a B-Day gift to all of us.
MichelleWow. Great segue.
SteveThanks. So we're here talking about Viceland, season two, episode five, The B-Day. Matt forgets Jay's birthday and tries to make it up to him. Jay gets lost in Toronto at the 420 festival. Opening titles, The Walking Dead. How do we feel about this one, folks? It's okay.
KitI had fun, but I was also a Walking Dead fan back in the day, so I found this a little bit delightful, especially how it ends. But I had fun.
MichelleWas it Walking Dead the whole way through?
KitI watched a bunch of The Walking Dead, but It was just the opening credits and the sting at the end with uh The Talking Dead. Talking Dead.
SteveJump Scare.
KitTell me about it.
SteveI always forget that it's there. And then when Chris Hardwick shows up on my TV, I go, whoa!
KitYeah, that's a real spooky one.
SteveI'm not even joking. I actually uh said out loud, uh somehow Chris Hardwick has returned. Uh oh, is this where Michelle drops that she loves Chris Hardwick?
MichelleNo.
SteveOkay. No. So you looked like you had something to say on it.
MichelleUm I was trying to remember what he had done to be canceled, and then I remembered. And it's not fun to talk about.
SteveAnd the large part of it is just being annoying.
SPEAKER_08Yeah.
StevePoints. So this episode is one of those for me, one of those episodes where I find it fascinating in the concept of the larger show, but don't really love watching it.
SPEAKER_08Mm-hmm. Hmm.
SteveBecause for me, this episode is basically setting up a bunch of dominoes to then have fall later.
MichelleOh, interesting. Yeah, I can see that. Well, I know about some of them, I don't know about all of them.
SteveWell, um, is it okay if I jump to the end to just explain that thesis?
unknownNo. Sure.
SteveI feel like by the time we get to the end of this episode, Matt, black hatted, goes full like denial survival mode, like his worst instincts on like trying to make Jay happy take over. And Jay is starting along this journey of realizing he may not need the singular quest to be happy. And that sets up like the next batch, I think, even partially through the movie, where Jay is starting to realize he doesn't need this singular quest of a show at the Rivoli to be fulfilled. And Matt is so scared about that potentially happening. And I feel like this episode so much sets up that narrative and that dynamic, slight dynamic shift in a way that pays off later, but it's so just kind of weird that it happens in the margins of this like silly little romp.
SPEAKER_08Mm-hmm.
SteveBecause I remember the first time I watched this, when I got to the end of the episode, I was left with, oh, this isn't gonna be good.
MichelleThe ominous black hat and the ominous staring.
SteveYou know what I threw on after I watched this the last time, not this recent time? Michael Mann's Black Hat. Great movie. But um, yeah, no, I just I like thinking about this episode. It's not my favorite to watch.
MichelleI think that's fair. I think it's a fun watch. I and like certainly did not not enjoy it. It just um just a nice, a nice thing to see. And after sort of a run of some really excellent episodes, this one was just like nice.
SteveThe opening breaks me every time I watch this. Mm-hmm. How how is it for the two of you?
KitUh, not great. I don't really like the little song.
SteveWell, do you two know the original song?
KitUh, I don't know.
SteveSo he's singing the song Brimful of Asha, which was a hit song in the UK and on the alternative charts in America. And it's a song uh the just the Everyone Needs a Bosom for a Pillow Part that he keeps singing over and over again. And it's a song about like the Indian diaspora in England and finding comfort in music. It's named after a singer that sang on a bunch of Bollywood movies, and it's kind of rooted in the shift of like Indian culture growing in popularity in Britain and like finding comfort in music. So like it's it it's so weird to take this song that has this very specific cultural context to put a weird Ugandan accent on it, and then comment on the 2014 Ugandan anti-homosexuality law.
MichelleYeah. Mm-hmm. It's a very it's baffling. It's a very strange set of layers, and I'm not sure that information makes it make any more sense and make and maybe less sense.
SteveYes. Cause like the line is I believe like everybody needs a bosom for a pillow, mine's a 45. And it's like everybody needs something to bring them comfort, and I find that in music. And Matt Johnson's like, I'm gonna make this about boobs, and I'm gonna change the country and also get weirdly homophobic while commenting on like a recent international political news. It's so strange, and I'm just kind of shocked that it made it through.
MichelleYeah. I think it feels like a web series era joke. Yes. That I was like surprised to see in this context and surprised that it would stay in the edit. Um, and like there is like a built-in inside the show acknowledgement that like what a weird thing to do.
SPEAKER_08Mm-hmm.
MichelleAnd I'm so curious that like even with that happening, why did they still leave it in?
SteveBecause you know there was like 30 takes of him doing something different. I'm sure. I don't know if you watched it with subtitles on Hulu, it says like Ugandan accent.
SPEAKER_11Oh, I didn't notice that. No, I did not see that.
SteveIt it's it's a really strange opening, but yeah, it's it is web series Matt, like is back here.
MichelleIt's a real blast from the past.
SteveDid you see that one of the plans listed on the whiteboard was just website?
MichelleNo, I didn't. And I found that so fucking funny.
SteveOne of his plans is just make a website.
MichelleThey haven't tried that yet.
SPEAKER_11It's true. It does seem worth a go.
SteveThey should have called Carson.
SPEAKER_11They should have called Carson.
SteveAnd then, you know, Matt Jay is asking Matt, like, what is 420? What are you forgetting today? And I remember the first time I watched this, I was like, is Matt gonna make a Columbine joke or a Hitler's birthday joke? Because you know it's gonna be one of them. The answer is yes.
SPEAKER_11At least it's not both.
SteveThose little brats frets. I hate to admit it made me laugh really hard. Just his framing of it as those little brats.
MichelleYeah. It's it's a real rough, like, layers of stuck stuff stacked at the beginning of this one. For like no apparent reason and no payoff later about either of these specific jokes.
SteveDo y'all think it was an intentional like let's make the audience feel uneasy and uncomfortable before going into the story? Because that's was kind of my takeaway this last viewing. In what way? Because, like, emotionally, this is like starting them on this wobbly path, and like this episode is very much like about partially being overwhelmed, like Matt being overwhelmed by the crowd, Jay being overwhelmed by this adventure. I just wonder, like, he is so offensive up top. And then to double down with the Columbine thing, I was like, is the are these the takes they chose because it makes everybody uncomfortable? Because this type of humor hasn't really popped up since the web series.
MichelleI think that's possible. That wasn't how I read it, but it doesn't seem outside of the realm of possibility to me.
KitYeah, that's not really how I read it either. Because like, even though this is more in your face, like even in the Vice Viceland series, there have been moments where like there are things that are like a little off-color. I think this is the first time that like it just sort of stacks, you know, where it's just like here's like a five-minute bit of just off-color stuff, you know?
SteveMm-hmm. I don't like it one bit. It makes me feel icky. And I'm not totally like sold on that idea, but it was just something that popped up for me, being like, was this a move? Listeners, write in. Let us hear your takes on the offensive opening of this episode.
MichelleI think the the Columbine bit specifically, once you get into that, it's like it's this like couple series of misdirects of um, you know, it's 420, the setup is like, oh, maybe we don't want to do a plan today because we want to celebrate 420 and smoke a bunch of weed. And to have like, there's so few other options for realizing what day it is, but not realizing that it's Jay's birthday. Um I think I didn't think about it in tandem with the other opening song. Yeah, it's really weird. It's it's a very strange one. It is really disorienting as a viewer, whether that was the intention or not.
SteveWell, then we're reminded that it's Jay's B Day, just like Matt is.
SPEAKER_09Yeah.
SteveAnd um, you know, they're gonna they're gonna go celebrate by going to buy a gift together. That's the plan.
SPEAKER_08Mm-hmm.
SteveOh, I I do like that this also sets up the going under the rivoli that's gonna come up later. Yeah. But this one with a penguin style drill.
MichelleI wish that came back.
KitMe too. Um, I also love him going, what the fuck is underneath it? Like the delivery of that is so good. It gets me every time.
SteveIt's how you get us back in, Matt. Ugh.
MichelleThere is a moment where Jay has spent the last like two minutes being like, Matt, what day is it? Do you realize what day it is? And then Matt finally realizes this birthday and was like, we gotta throw you a party. And Jay is just the sweetest, most bashful little boy. He's like, You don't have to throw a party for me. I don't need anything special. Don't make a big deal.
KitI don't want the attention.
MichelleI don't want the attention, and he's just sitting there like making little stinker faces and it's really cute. And sitting on the piano bench, it's it's a perfect, a perfect moment for me.
SteveJay is a real sweetie pie on this one. See? I've turned around.
MichellePro Jay. I'm really proud of you. Happy for you. We've come so far.
SteveI've learned, I've grown.
MichelleIs this an episode where you're gonna say Matt has done nothing wrong?
SteveNo, Matt does a lot wrong on this episode.
MichelleBecause this feels so bad. This feels like one where he does quite a bit wrong.
SteveHe makes some mistakes on this one. This is one episode where I cannot bring myself to defend Matt.
KitWow. A milestone. Crazy that it's this one and not the bank robbery one.
SteveHe did nothing wrong. He saved those people.
KitOr the one where he drugs Jay McCarroll. Someone else drugs Jay this time.
SteveYeah. Do you blame Brownie guy?
KitUh, yes, I do, actually.
MichelleBut they get on the streetcar.
SteveYeah.
MichelleThey are heading downtown, heading to the Eton Center, and they make some buddies.
SteveI love these ladies. They're great. They're really good. The reaction of Matt and Jay to them, where you can see on their faces that they are both utterly charmed by these ladies, like engaging with them, wishing Jay a happy birthday, being like, Yeah, I get hangry too. It's okay.
MichelleI think this is an interesting one because I'm so curious about the background on it. Because throughout the episode, you it's like every season in the outside world at various points in this episode. Like when Jay's in the park, there are like trees in full leaf, and then there's a part where you can see that it's autumn, and then sometimes people are wearing jackets, sometimes it's clearly hot out. And I'm really curious how this particular one um was sort of stitched together, because I feel like normally the seams are a little bit more hidden than they are here, and maybe it's just like the nature of how much filming outside they were doing. Um but this I think like that was one of the moments of like when they get on the bus and they're immediately talking about like, oh, I should have eaten before we left that place. I'm like, was that did you know that in the episode that was gonna be right after leaving your house, or was there something in between there that's been lost to time? I don't know. I feel like I had I I had questions about the production in ways that are different than I normally do.
SteveIt does feel to me like the 420 stuff was put in much later.
SPEAKER_08Mm-hmm.
SteveAnd there may have been another story in here. I can see that. Because I'll be honest, like it kind of loses me for that chunk when they're really in the 420 fest.
SPEAKER_08Mm-hmm.
SteveMaybe because it just seems like hell on earth to me, and also I've never smoked weed in my life, so uh there's no appeal. Never.
KitNot even once.
SteveNo, I've never drank and I've never smoked weed.
KitThat's crazy. I mean, shout out, but also damn.
SteveI'm a narc, baby. No, I'm not. So it it's just why would you want I know I've said this before. Why do you want to be with that many people? Everybody seems quite rude except for Brownie Guy. And yeah. I I don't I don't think most of the jokes land as well. Like the their zombies stealing the snacks from Matt, like, works okay. Maybe it's just a me thing, but like that little chunk where they're navigating the crowd, I it I just kind of like my eyes glaze over for a booth.
MichelleI think that's fair. I was mostly I was just very stressed out about the snacks and how few of them he was gonna have by the time he got back to Jay. If you ever found him.
SteveIt is very funny that he has all of the bags open and is walking through the crowd.
unknownYeah.
SteveSo Matt tells Jay to wait by a toonie that he puts on the floor. He's gonna go get snacks. Jay loses the toonie, starts wandering around because he's so hungry. Matt's trying to bring back these snacks, gets all the snacks stolen, and now our boys have split up. Mm-hmm.
MichelleI think of all the episodes where they are split up for most of it, this is this is maybe my least favorite. Maybe partially because like they are fully on their own journey and there's less of an element of like they're trying to get back to each other or they're like learning something about what they need from each other. But the journeys that they go on are interesting. It feels very different from something like um Battle of the Bands or I'm trying to think of the Viceland one.
SteveBonifista Social Club? Sorry.
MichelleIt does feel very different than the Bonifista Social Club, but nothing's quite like it.
SteveI also not to be overly critical of the show that I love, but like the Jay's story doesn't make a ton of sense to me.
SPEAKER_02Oh, him looking for a toonie?
SteveYeah, because like there was also clearly something cut because see there's one scene where you see him with a plastic bag around himself and like he's got grass sticking out of his shirt.
SPEAKER_08Mm-hmm.
SteveAnd like he goes from like fine to covered in dirt. It just seems like it it just bounced around a lot. And Jay didn't seem necessarily clueless, he just seemed kind of grumpy and high. Well, I
MichelleI think part of what's funny about like he spends so much time sort of like aimless and wandering before he actually consumes the weed brownie. So he's theoretically not high for a lot of it. He's just hungry and super out of it, which is relatable. I understand. I do think the the scene of him staring at the like Burger King ad for ten nuggets for $1.99 is a really beautiful, perfect moment of if only I had my toonie right now, I could have ten nuggets.
SteveI do like I'm counting each nugget.
MichelleWell you gotta check.
SPEAKER_11Gotta confirm that it's ten.
SteveCould you imagine getting ten nuggets for a dollar ninety nine now? What a dream.
MichelleIncredible. It's a really good deal. I think it was probably a really good deal in 2017, but an extra good deal now.
KitI don't know. I feel like the the them being separated and wandering and Jay sort of losing his mind looking for a toonie while Matt is going on a shopping spree is just like a really great upstairs-downstairs moment for me. Where it's like, I don't know, Matt is out there ostensibly buying gifts for Jay, but it's just a terrible new outfit. Um with infinite money that Matt's character has. And then Jay, who has fluff for brains, lost the toonie he's supposed to be standing by and is spending the rest of the day trying to find the toonie. Because I guess once he finds it, he'll find Matt again. Question mark. Yeah.
SteveJay is a dope. Yeah. But like Matt is gonna magically appear where the toonie is, kind of a stretch.
MichelleYeah. It is it is a very funny logic point. I do love watching Matt go shopping, though. Uh a fashion montage is one of my most beloved TV and movie tropes. And I do think I wish that there was more of him trying on different outfits instead of just assembling this particular one. Um, but I'll take what I can get.
SteveMy man buys Air Force Ones. He's getting buy one, get one free shorts. Sounds great. And did either of you know about fashion television when you're parodying? So when Matt's shopping, that has like FT at the bottom of the screen. Hmm. And it's playing like, you know, fashion. Apparently that is referencing a 27-year-long Canadian TV channel that had a 13-season TV series of fashion television. Whoa. And it's doing a direct reference to a Canadian series that aired on VH1 for a little bit.
MichelleOh nice. That does seem like a good VH1 show that I assume is just a person goes shopping.
SteveI would love to hear from a Canadian, like if that was a large laugh line to have like the logo beer on the bottom. If this has was this thing that was around forever, or would it be like, you know, if it looked like E entertainment television for us?
MichelleI mean, if it's if it's an equivalent of like a what not to wear, I could see that really hitting.
KitI mean, Matt definitely did need somebody to tell him not to wear that, though. I really wish there had been a a a snarky woman to be like, no, no, no. Not a big thing. Shorts, shorts and a bow tie. Don't think so.
SteveHe looks like fucking Angus Young from HCDC.
MichelleI do like when he goes hat shopping.
SteveHey, the one guy in the suit store, he's like, Did these magic? He's like, Well, as much as a blazer could fit with shorts.
KitGod bless retail workers are strongest soldiers, man.
SteveSeriously. The unsung heroes. So Matt gets uh a blazer, a bow tie, uh shorts, fucking Jordans, and then he goes hat shopping. And he ends up getting the the black fedora for And I start getting sad.
MichelleFor mirror universe, Matt, who is more evil.
SteveI do not like it. Matt's not evil until this hat.
SPEAKER_08Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
SteveUntil the hat found him. Yeah, it's like the mask from the mask.
KitYeah.
SteveYou find it, you put it on, it takes you over. Suddenly you're yelling smoking.
KitWhich perhaps Matt will do at some point. We don't know yet.
SteveThat's true.
KitAnything's possible.
SteveSomebody stop me.
MichellePlease, please somebody stop him.
SteveI do like this version of the mask where he's desperate to get out of this situation. Please! Save me from myself. The mask comes up so much in our household.
KitDoes it? Really?
SteveYeah.
KitIn what way?
SteveI I've poisoned my darling wife's brain with a lot of my weird shit. So anytime something is smoking, like dinner got a little overcooked, or there's literally like smoke from someone's fire, one of us will inevitably say, Did somebody call the mask? Because it's smoking.
MichelleThere is a way that uh my brain is broken that came into focus in this particular episode that I'm gonna take us out on a little um side branch for a second, where I was watching this, I was like, why does this mall look familiar? Is it just familiar in a way that every mall sort of looks familiar? I've never been to the Eaton Center. I how could I possibly know this particular mall? And then I googled it and I was trying to find if it had been like in a show or a movie or something, and that's where I saw it. And I learned that Eaton Center is the setting for a video that is quoted quite often in my house that's from like maybe 15 years ago. There's a guy outside this particular mall, the doors are locked, and he is just banging on the outside doors of this mall, going, Why have you closed your doors to the public? The people want to come in, the people want to shop. And it's I there was like something going on in the mall, it's just one set of doors. Like that guy could have walked around the block and gotten into the mall. Like that he can see people inside, does not comprehend that it's just the door in front of him that's locked, and is fists on the windows banging on it and shouting, and then like there is some teens in the background who are like, oh, this guy's being crazy and someone's filming him. They're like throwing themselves at the wall to be like, haha, yeah, let us in. And like maybe 90% of the time I encounter a door that I expect to be open, and it is not. I am either thinking or saying out loud, why have you closed your doors to the public? Let the people in. The people want to shop. That's incredible. And that was the Eaton Center? And that was the Eaton Center, and that's why I know it, because I've watched this like stupid video of a man just yelling at a mall about why it's not open many, many times.
SteveWhat about it speaks to you so much? Just curious.
MichelleUm I love I love that that is a man expressing his feelings loudly and in public. Um, he's not yelling at any person. He's he's yelling at the building. And I think when I have encountered something that I expect to be open, and it's not, I also demand answers and I would like to do the thing I was trying to do. And I think that's just like a really important motivating factor for me, um, is that all the doors should always be open to the public.
SteveSo it makes you feel seen.
MichelleIt makes me feel seen. I feel like I feel like I'm gonna show you this video afterwards and you're gonna be like, feel seen in that very entitled middle-aged man. Um, and the answer is unfortunately for me, yes.
SteveHow many cursed videos have I shown you over the years? That's true. That's made you go, why do you want to watch this?
KitAnd so many. Mainly just two, but so many.
SteveYou're lucky I haven't put on Kelsey Grammar walking off the stage a million times. You have!
MichelleI don't want it. Maybe not a million times. I I can think of at least two occasions. We've watched a lot of Kelsey Grammar Christmas movies, and I think every time that we have done that, you have made us watch Kelsey Grammar Walks Off a Stage.
SteveThat does sound like something I would say.
MichelleIs there also something with Kelsey Grammar and a tree? And then one of the Christmas movies. Kiever Sutherland in the King is the tree. Thank you. Um one of one of the Kelsey Grammar Christmas movies, I believe they reference it, or am I combining this?
SteveNo, it was the Kiever Sutherland one we watched last year references Hey Kiefer, you're a pirate man that explains everything, jumps into a Christmas tree.
KitOkay. Can you explain to our listeners who perhaps have not seen that video what you're talking about? Yeah.
SteveSo Kiefer Sutherland made a documentary about like touring with his band, and he is shitfaced in a hotel lobby, it looks like, and there's a bunch of Christmas trees around, and somebody goes, Hey Kiefer, you're a pirate man. And then Kiefer goes, Well, that explains everything. And then he tackles a Christmas tree.
KitIt's incredible.
SteveClassic fucking fur.
MichelleAnd then can you explain Kelsey Grammar walks off the stage?
SteveCan I ever? Google it immediately, folks. It is, I would make the argument my favorite video of all time. Oh wow. Kelsey Grammar. Anytime I'm depressed, somebody I know will send me Kelsey Grammar walking off the stage to make me feel better. Because he's giving a lecture and he goes, I was walking through it's a small world, pretending I was a UN interpreter. And he miscalculates the edge of the stage, and he steps off of it and lands directly on of his feet. And as he's falling down, he goes, Oh dear lord. And then he's standing there, like shaking, and he goes, Uh-uh, I apologize for my language. But it looks, and I've done that. I've stepped off a stage, not realizing it, and landed straight on my feet, and it hurts like a motherfucker.
MichelleOh, I believe it. Did you say oh dear lord? Or were you gonna be able to do that? No, I wish I had.
SPEAKER_02Did you say oh dear Kelsey Grammar?
SteveI probably just yelled motherfucker.
SPEAKER_02We take those. That's Kelsey Grammar.
SteveYeah. And he for those of you who haven't seen it, I need you to just stop this episode, go watch it immediately, because the way he goes, oh dear lord, is so bizarre.
MichelleVery strange man.
SteveAnd then the the video the the version on YouTube then shows it in slow motion, and it's just like a man stepping off of a ledge, realizing part of the way down what's about to happen, and then slamming on his feet.
SPEAKER_09A real coyote.
SteveI'm surprised he didn't break something. Because the one time I did it, I broke a foot.
MichelleOh no.
SteveYeah, one of four times I've done that.
MichelleStepped off a stage or broken your foot?
SteveBroken my foot.
MichelleOh. Okay.
SteveBroken my left foot four times.
MichelleThat's crazy, dude. That's concerning.
SteveI lived a rough life. I wasn't smoking weed, but I was diving off stages.
MichelleMm-hmm. Kit, do you have a video that you would like to describe for internet video games?
SteveWhat's your favorite internet video?
KitWell, there is something that like is burrowed in my brain that I reference all the time, but it's not a video. It is a just the title of a reality show from the early 2000s. Um, anytime something happens and I like don't want to deal with it, or I want to leave, or something is happening and I don't want to like engage with it, I'll just look at John and Rebbers nearby and go, I'm a celebrity. Get me out of here. And that was a title of a television show when I was a kid. And I never watched this show. I just remember the ads all the time. And my partner is still not convinced this is a real television show, even though I've explained it to him multiple times that like it was called I'm a Celebrity, get me out of here. It's a bunch of C-list at best celebrities being sent to like a survivor-like situation. Yeah, and their celebrities get them out of there. Yeah, I don't think about that whole thing.
SteveIt's a UK version and an American version.
KitMm-hmm.
MichelleThat was a fun era of reality television.
SteveI mean, this was around the same time when um Black White aired on FX. Have you two ever seen that?
KitNo, what is that? I thought we were gonna go in like the the guy who pretended to be a millionaire, the Joe Millionaire direction.
MichelleI thought we were gonna talk about other VH1 reality programs, like when Flavor Flav made out with um that tall blonde lady.
KitOh yeah.
SteveVeget Nielsen.
MichelleWas that her? Yeah.
SteveYes. And by the way, I looked up who's on I'm a Celebrity Get Me Outta Here. And most of these that don't even know who they are.
KitNo, I've also done this. Like, I've done this whole thing where like I've pulled up the Wikipedia page to show my partner. I've like explained I've shown him clips that I've seen of I'm a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here. And I I loved reading off all of the people on there because the only people I recognized were like Spencer Pratt from the Hills. Like that was it.
MichelleWas a Backstreet Boy on it at some point? Maybe.
SteveRob Lakoyevitch's wife was on it? Sure. Of course. Uh of course you know Stephen Baldwin and Daniel Baldwin was up on that motherfucker.
KitThe Baldwins were in every reality show. Every single one. And I think they kept making up new ones. I'm sure for Baldwins to be on.
unknownYes.
SteveI do kind of want to watch Robin Leach throw it in their host of lifestyles of the rich and famous.
MichelleDowntown Julia Brown.
SteveRemember her?
MichelleNo. I just love that name. Um, I feel like before before we went to Internet Video Corner, there's a moment when Matt has gone in to the mall, into the Eaton Center, where he's holding his empty chip bags and is approached by a very kind security guard who's just like, Hey, are you are you okay? And responds, just like a lost child. And it's kind of incredible.
SteveMatt, you know, Matt Johnson, real guy, like clearly doesn't want to like escalate on this woman because she's being so nice. So I actually think it's really sweet the way he's like, yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm okay, I gotta get a gift. Oh, oh my god, thank you so much. Like he ends up like having her be the one that makes him feel better.
MichelleYeah.
SteveAnd I thought that was like really sweet.
MichelleIt's a nice moment. Mm-hmm. I it also made me curious how long he was walking around with his empty flat bags of chips.
SteveThat scene grosses me out so much of the people pulling all the chips out of his bag and eating them. Wait, really? Yeah.
SPEAKER_11What's gross about it?
SteveI want strangers touching my food.
SPEAKER_11I see. I see.
SteveThat that was a real pre-COVID thing.
MichelleSometimes I mean that that made me think about um there was a night when I was like 22 and I was at a bar and a guy brought in a family-sized box of goldfish, or like a Costco size, the one with the little pore spout, um, and was just it just pouring them into people's hands, and he's a real celebrity in my life. That's incredible.
SteveSee, that's a good way to do it.
MichelleIt's it is much more sanitary. I was not reaching in to the Costco container of goldfish. He was distributing them like the Eucharistic minister.
SteveIt's like the Jesus fish, but as a cracker. I often think about like I used to go to John, I don't know if I've ever spoken about this to you two guys. John Hodgman used to have a secret society, which was basically just a place for comedians and celebrities to say things they'd get in trouble for uh in front of a crowd.
SPEAKER_08Mm-hmm.
SteveAnd he used to pass around bottles of Melort, and everyone in the crowd would drink out of the bottle.
SPEAKER_08Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
SteveThe amount of backwash that must have been in there by the time you got to the back of the crowd is horrifying.
MichelleAt least the Melort itself would kill germs.
SteveFair. But can you imagine doing that now? I couldn't imagine doing it then.
MichelleBut like people actually Yeah, I'm not proud of it, but that is pretty easy for me to imagine and enthusiastically participate in.
KitYeah.
SteveYou two are so much braver than me.
KitWell, I mean, I think one thing that I we haven't really discussed on this show is that when I was uh in college and a young adult, I was very much like a crust punk who did a lot of dumpster diving and eating things out of the dumpster, like literally. So, like them people just grabbing stuff out of a plastic or out of a chip bag, that's not a big deal, you know? I would absolutely swig it, thing of the lord with a bunch of strangers.
SPEAKER_09Kid, I don't think I knew this about you. Yeah. What's the best thing you ever found in a dumpster?
KitThere was this really great burrito place, and I would find half-eaten burritos in there all the time, and it was great. Hell yeah.
SteveRespect it. I was a custodian for a really long time. So I think knowing what went into throwing the garbage out took away all appeal of potentially dumpster diving, because I was a high school custodian for five years.
MichelleI didn't know this about you.
SteveYeah, it's how I paid my way through the end of undergrad and my master, my first master's.
KitYeah, so in this in this podcast, we have you know the full range of human experience.
SteveI threw it out, you ate it.
KitI ate it, and Michelle's right in the middle.
MichelleUh what would that even be? I feel like I haven't had very many experiences with the dumpster. You gotta go in there. There's some treasure. I believe it.
SteveJump off a roof, leave it as a use it as a trash pad.
unknownUgh.
MichelleYeah, I'll do that. That is the exact middle of those two experiences. Is doing a stunt into a dumpster full of trash bags.
SteveYou know, I I can deal with a lot of gross shit. Food is where I draw the line. I can't do a salad bar.
KitWhat?
SteveYep.
KitWait, so when I told you my Haichu story, the Haichu incident, were you horrified?
SteveI was horrified. I didn't want to like ruin your fun.
KitNo, can you tell the people about the story? Yeah, okay. So this this is the Haichu incident. I am often yelled at about this. This was many years ago. I was walking with my friends through Sunset Park. It was a beautiful summer afternoon. Um, and on the sidewalk I saw a roll, an open roll of high chews. And I'm like, hell yeah, high chews on the sidewalk, free. Red them up. Yeah, they were red ones. Pick them up, super stoked about it. Looking at them, they are still individually wrapped. Everything is fine. A couple are missing, but it just seems like someone had bought this at like the corner store. Maybe it fell out of their pocket. So I took it, put it in my pocket, and I just ate the high chews. This apparently was offensive to a lot of people in my life because you found it on the sidewalk and you just ate it. And my argument is they were individually wrapped, and I didn't die. Two very good points. I don't think you did anything wrong.
SteveNo, you didn't do anything wrong. I just personally could not, but I admit this is like the thing I'm a baby about. If like the milk is expired like the day before, I'm like, I don't know. Like, I I've never sniffed a carton of milk after the expiration date. I'm like, I think this needs to go, or I won't drink the milk until my partner sucks.
MichelleMy dates are lies.
SteveI know they are. I objectively know that.
MichelleI just so if you had if you bought a container of raspberries at the market and then you came home and one of the raspberries had a little bit of mold on it that you didn't notice. They're so expensive though.
KitBut if what if you saw the other raspberries and they're all fine? It's just that one.
SteveThankfully, I'm married to someone who will then eat the raspberries.
KitWow, so her life is in danger.
SteveShe's braver than me. There are very few things in this world that scare me. Being late is one and food stuff is two. We're very different in both of those regards.
KitYeah, I'm late to everything.
SteveI don't know if you two have noticed, I like to be prompt about taking care of things. That's why I always answer your emails, listeners. But anyway, um, yeah, no, uh Kit, eating street food, I really respect you for it. I think you're a hero, and I think we should all aspire to be like you.
KitEveryone, put your hand on the garbage right now. Eat what you find.
SteveThis ru this weekend I was at Coney Island, and um a friend of mine like dropped a couple of her French fries on the bench and like picked them up and ate them, and I almost threw up.
SPEAKER_02Five second rule.
MichelleYeah. And French fries aren't like, I feel like my my caveat to the five second rule is if it's sticky, maybe maybe not.
SPEAKER_09But French fries aren't sticky.
MichelleI'm eating dust anyway. It's in the air. Yummy.
SteveI don't want to know it's on a Coney Island bench.
MichelleIt's the same stuff that's in the Coney Island air. Yeah. I'm pretty sure. It's is that upsetting information to you?
SteveI think it is. I go to Coney Island a lot.
MichelleThere's there's probably some different stuff on the bench.
SteveWho knows what I'm saying? I mean I probably got tetanus from a boardwalk nail at some point, but And you didn't even get to eat it. It's true. Should have. I'm trying to think like, what's the grossest thing I ever ate? And I don't think there is one. You've never eaten anything gross? No, like not I've had things that like didn't taste good.
SPEAKER_09No.
SteveBut I've never like garbage food or like anything like that. Food that's out too long, I can't handle it. I I guess you're learning a little bit about my quirk.
MichelleI I I have not gone dumpster diving for food, but when I was uh when I weighted tables, I I took a couple fries off a plate. What a waste to just throw those away. Mm-hmm.
SteveWhen I worked at McDonald's, I used to you were only allowed to leave the burger patties in the warmer for an hour before you would have to throw them out, was the rule back then. And I would take a bunch of like burger patties that were like at the hour mark, put them on like a bun, wrap it, and like give it to the cashier for like a little bit, and be like, when I go on my break, just ring me up for this super burger. And that's the closest I've gotten. Interesting.
SPEAKER_09You had to pay for the super burger? That was gonna become trash.
SteveNo, you're allowed to get like one single hamburger.
SPEAKER_09Oh.
SteveSo you would go up and order a hamburger and you'd get a hamburger for free, but I would have already hidden my super burger. Oh, I see. And they would hand it to me.
KitMm-hmm.
SteveMm-hmm. So that was Food Corner.
KitThat was Food Corner. Speaking of Food Corner, a woman hands Jay a rotten well, I don't know if it's a rotten banana. I think maybe it's just like a little brown. And he's devastated by this. He says that it's a bad banana like six times.
MichelleI mean, like, let's go on this emotional journey with him. He's been walking around for seemingly hours. So hungry, so hungry. Doesn't have any money to buy food. Does the banana happen before or after he eats the weed brownie? After. So he he's so hungry, he hasn't eaten anything except for this brownie, which would only make him more hungry. And to be given a free banana by a kind passerby.
SPEAKER_08Mm-hmm.
MichelleBe so excited about eating the banana, getting some potassium, and then you open it up and realize that it's rotten. I'm I'm right there with him. I think this is a perfectly reasonable reaction.
SteveGive him nothing then. You're gonna give him a busted bag banana.
MichelleFinally, someone I can offload my rotten banana on, said this strange woman.
SteveAnd you know people do that.
SPEAKER_08Mm-hmm.
SteveGiving out their old sandwiches and whatever.
SPEAKER_08Mm-hmm.
SteveSorry, I uh I recently taught my child how to do the most annoying thing that I do, which is you've just been cupped. Which is where you take a empty cup of a drink you've got and you tell the person with you, Hey, can you hold this with me for a second? For a second, and then you go, You've just been cupped, and refuse to take it back so that they have to throw it out.
MichelleSteve, never do this to me. Are there consequences? Yeah, you have to deal with the cup. Yeah, you were then stuck with my garbage. Never do this to me. I would kill you. Good to know. It's deeply annoying. Don't give me a cup.
SteveI once had somebody get so mad at me that they threw an empty frappuccino at my head.
KitI mean, in a way, you got cupped.
SteveI did get cupped back. That's why I was chuckling though. I taught my child how to do that, and they've kind of picked up on what it means. They're like, you got banana, and just like handed my mom a banana, and I'm like, that's not how it works. You should be just the peel.
MichelleOh no. They're being too kind and generous. What a little jerk. Um They would never give away a rotten banana, only good ones.
SteveCan we talk about the guy that Jay said wanted to fuck him?
MichelleThis is the man in the park, right? Yes. Okay. I think that that exchange is is is so strange, and I would have loved to see the beginning of it. Like any any more of this conversation than the part that we get.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
MichelleBecause like there's a chance that there is no context and that like this man just sat down and started talking to him. But if there is any more conversation before where we join them, I would love to know about it.
KitThis is one of the ones where I always wonder if this was somebody that production planted, because they have talked about that. That sometimes someone will be planted to get them from A to B or to like put a plot point together. And I always wonder if this is one of those guys. But at the same time, this is such a bizarre conversation that I don't think you can script this.
MichelleNo, absolutely not.
SteveYeah. Because at first Jay says it's his birthday, and he says happy birthday, and he said, I'm looking for the tuning. And the guy's like, Yeah, like I I forgot to write it down. It's like I used to be stressed about a tuning, and then I just let it go, I gave it away. And then Jay says, like, it's my birthday again, and he's like, Happy birthday again. And it it's in a playground, it's so strange. But yeah, I think you're right, Kit. Like, I don't think you could stage this guy.
KitNo, it everything about this is so baffling. And I mean, if this was shot the same time as the 420 festival, then like I could see it, you know. This is like a playground near where that was.
SteveThat guy's Sylvester sweatshirt he has on, did you notice? His what? Like the cat? Yes, it's like a multi like the sleeves are different than like the body of it. And then like right here over the heart is a patch of like Sylvester the cat.
KitHuh.
SteveI really wanted it. And yeah, the the after that is where we get the scene where like Jay is kind of wandering around and he has grass sticking out of him and like a plastic bag on him, and is like totally dirty. Like there's clearly a chunk of Jay's adventure that just disappears. Some lost time in the park. And maybe we're supposed to feel what he's feeling in them.
KitYeah, he's had a rough day. It's his birthday, and he just sort of ran around the city by himself.
SteveThis is why I only celebrate my birthday every 10 years. Because this happens to you? I just don't trust birthdays. No.
KitYou don't trust birthdays?
SteveNope. It just seems like it's a recipe for disaster. This is my other hot take. I only celebrate my birthday every 10 years. I don't think it's worth it. I feel like there's just too many moving pieces put into play.
MichelleWhy do you still do it every 10 years?
SteveBecause like everybody asks me every year, why aren't you your birthday? And I'm like, okay, I'll do the milestone ones. Also, we celebrated my 40th purely because I wanted an excuse to stay at the Silence of the Lambs theme works.
MichelleI feel like, you know, I we have I have not known you for most of your life, but the part of it that I have known you, we had a quite extravagant birthday celebration.
SteveIt's because I couldn't find an argument to convince people to go to the Buffalo Bills house. For listeners, we may have mentioned this before. We stayed at an Airbnb that was in the filming location of Buffalo Bills' house from Silence of the Lambs that they put a murder basement in and turned into a Silence of the Lambs themed Airbnb. And it rocked. And it rocked. And oh, we did talk about it because it was the worst shower imaginable.
SPEAKER_09Yeah.
SteveYeah, I I only celebrated my birthday that year because so I would have an excuse to do the Airbnb.
MichelleThat's so funny.
SteveA lot of weird things about Steve coming out today that's not cursed content. Um, but yeah, so his birthday is really bad. I think until he has his revelation later on about how he decided to give it away.
KitHe didn't need that, Tony. He never did. The guy in the park was right. He was too stressed about money.
MichelleThere is so both Matt and Jay have like revelations in this episode while looking at reflections, at their own reflections. There's a song that plays during that moment for both of them that feels very familiar to me that I could not place, and I'm curious if either of you know what it is. It feels like a very special episode of a sitcom type of music.
SteveI couldn't place I couldn't either.
MichelleAnd maybe it's just that genre. But like I Googled and I couldn't find anything, and I guess I could have looked more closely at the credits, but um I don't know what Sara it was, to be honest.
SteveListeners, let us know.
MichelleI mean it might not be from anything, it might just be that type of like learning a lesson genre of music. Um I find that very charming for both of them, that they're that they're having a revelation.
SteveMatt realizes he's been selfish and he's just gonna he should have just gotten Jay a show at the Rivoli.
MichelleI don't know if he came to quite the right realization, but No, it wasn't the right one. It is an understandable one for him.
SteveYes.
MichelleAnd the way his brain works.
SteveAnd he says, Well, I should have got him a show at a Rivoli, and then he goes into the Rivley and he says he wants to book a show, and they said you're a band. And he says, We're banned.
KitIncredible bit from the web series is bad, baby.
SteveYeah. And then Matt thinks they're banned. And then we have evil Matt.
MichelleI think we haven't talked about this yet, but that like this is a redo of a web of the web series, The B-Day. Um, they've exchanged which one of them is having their B Day and which one has forgotten. Uh and I think it's interesting to sort of like go back and look at both how they've treated this uh like premise differently over time and also how they treat it differently with whose birthday is being forgotten. Um but I love that they sort of keep some of the like plot points of it of like we are gonna be on the streetcar together and tell someone who's sitting near us that it's this guy's birthday.
SteveAnd there's no B-Day masquerade.
MichelleAnd there's no B-Day masquerade. And I'm not I I'm surprised that there wasn't like a brief moment with a mask as like a little homage to that, but I I am not upset to have an ending that differs from Web Series B-Day.
SteveAnd then it gets really upsetting because Matt is like, Jay can never know. You know, Jay's like, put on your hat so we can talk. And Matt chooses reluctantly and with a face full of sadness, chooses the black hat. He's gonna be evil Matt now.
KitMatt does try to tell Jay at first. He is trying to come clean about it, but it just doesn't happen. And then Matt puts on the hat.
SteveWhich then, you know, for the rest of the episodes, Matt takes off the black hat and is trying to come clean and then chooses to keep the lie going when he puts the hat back on. And that's gonna be a running theme through the end of the series of the black hat being Matt's secret. I would love to ask them why this particular secret they decided to give this visual like sign of guilt and secrecy to Matt versus say something like the buffet, where that's a secret he's carrying, but like it's not there's not necessarily like a a clear symbol of it.
MichelleYeah, that one's an internal burden. I mean, who knows how many secrets he has. Maybe, maybe this is the hat is the weight of all of his secrets adding up.
SteveIt's really interesting moving forward that like every single time he takes it off, tries to tell the truth, something gets in the way, and he puts it back on and continues to carry that guilt. And I walk away from this episode feeling quite sad because you can see that Jay is starting to realize he doesn't need Matt, or feels like he doesn't need Matt, and Matt realizes that like this could be the end of 'cause if they're banned, I I I know I'm like extrapolating here, but I would not be surprised if in that moment that he doesn't say it that Matt blamed himself that he did something in one of his plans that got them banned from the room.
MichelleHe might have. I mean, I know I under I know that it's a misunderstanding that he has misheard this woman inside, but also, you know, it does it doesn't feel impossible that one of their plans could have gotten them banned. He's coming with pre-guilt.
SteveThey should have learned about his heroics in that bank.
KitOh my god.
SteveI will die on this hill. I know. This one, Matt's wrong. Lying to Jay? Not okay, Matt.
SPEAKER_08Mm-hmm.
SteveBut I do like e something at the end of this episode feels broken.
SPEAKER_08Mm-hmm.
SteveMm-hmm. And it's actually something that we never really get back.
SPEAKER_09Oh, interesting.
SteveEven by the end of the movie, right? Like, Jay is left like with this knowledge that like Matt died for him. We know that, you know, young Matt saw Jay from the future changing the board. And like they are now both carrying different secrets between them. Like, there is just like at the end of this episode, there is a wait, and that weight changes what it is, but this like there is this crack that never gets filled through where we're at now. And I find that quietly devastating.
MichelleYeah. Even when the black hat goes away.
SteveYeah. You haven't seen the finale yet, still, right?
MichelleI haven't.
SteveBe ready for a good time.
MichelleI don't know. Everyone's making me really nervous about it.
SteveIt's gonna be fine.
MichelleIs it? It'll be okay.
SteveFriend of the show, Kurt Lobb, didn't really instill some hope in you when he said he wonders if they would have done something different.
MichelleUh oh, there's a lot of pressure on it. I don't want to see this other hat.
SteveThat's why I said like I like this episode like and to think about more than I like watching it, because like a lot of the jokes don't work in me. I do love the fashion montage, don't get me wrong. Um, Jay looking at Chang and Nuggets, great. But just like them physically going their separate ways and then now having a an emotional distance between the two of them that they can never maybe fully reconcile is just so interesting to think about and very, very heartbreaking.
SPEAKER_09Yeah, I agree.
SteveAnd we're left with Matt like staring off into space, wearing his black hat on the couch.
SPEAKER_09Yeah.
SteveAnd I'm feeling bad, and then I fucking forget that Chris Hardwick is coming up.
SPEAKER_11Yep. At your lowest moment. Chris Hardwick, friend of the show.
SteveI met him once, and he was an absolute dick.
KitI believe it. Not a fan.
SteveWhat is this how we find out Chris Hardwick's a listener?
KitUnlikely.
SteveHe's like, hey, wait, these people are talking Nirvana the band the show. They're doing what I do. He did that for more than one TV series.
KitYeah, he did it for Walking Dead, and like I think there was a sequel to Walking Dead that he did it for. He did it for Breaking Bad or Malking Dead.
SteveWell, there's Fear of the Walking Dead, there's Walking Dead City. Is that what it is?
KitYeah, but was that when he got cancelled? I feel like that came out after the Chris Harvick cancellation.
MichelleThere was some other show that had a talking pun in it.
KitDid he do one for Mr.
SPEAKER_11Robot? Was that on the same channel?
SteveNo, Mr. Robot was USA. My bad. Characters were welcome to.
MichelleTalk and catch fire. I don't know if that show got big enough to earn a uh immediately post-show talk show.
SteveOh god! No! What are you gonna say? You're gonna be heartbroken.
KitWhat am I ever not?
SteveTalking preacher.
KitI believe it. I didn't watch that. I watched Preacher, the television show, and I have a lot of thoughts about it, but you know, it's another time.
MichelleThey didn't even try to come up with a fun name for that one.
SteveNo. It should have been Preaching About Preacher, but So true.
MichelleYeah.
SteveHe also did Talking Saul, my beloved Better Call Saul.
SPEAKER_09Yeah.
SteveThere's been five of these shows: Talking Dead, Talking Bad, Talking Saul, Talking Preacher, and then one just called Talking with Chris Hardwick. Is that one a podcast? Nope. And then fucking and then he had uh at midnight.
KitThat was the only Chris Hardwick thing I liked possessed. I did enjoy it at times. Yeah.
MichelleI didn't watch a lot of it, but the episodes I saw I liked. I like a game show. A silly game show with no stakes.
SteveDo you remember Singled Out, the thing where he started?
unknownNo.
MichelleIs that the MTV like dating?
SteveYeah, the thing that also launched another cursed person, Jenny McCarthy. Oh. It was like a dating show where there's like 50 guys, 50 gals. We're gonna figure out who's gonna fuck. Mm-hmm. And like Chris Hardwick was in a throne or whatever. It was very strange. I watched that a lot because in elementary school I had a crush on Jenny McCarthy. I didn't know.
SPEAKER_09Mm-hmm. I don't think anybody knew yet. No. It's not your fault.
SteveThanks, pal. Um, but yeah, Chris Hardwick shows up. Do we think they were pro-Chris Hardwick or anti-Chris Hardwick on the set of the show? Nirvana the band, the show.
SPEAKER_11I feel like anti.
MichelleYeah. Or like at the time that this was made. Was he he was annoying then? Yeah. But he was just regular. He wasn't like off TV yet, right?
KitNo, he was just regular annoying, I think.
SPEAKER_11Yeah.
SteveUm, Kit, I have a question for you specifically. Because speaking of James Franco and things you love. Um do we think the I the black hat is purely a reference to black hat hackers, or is there the possibility that this is a Venom symbiote uh evil Peter Parker type situation?
KitSo I did not interpret this as a black hat reference. I 100% interpreted this as like a green goblin mask situation. Mm-hmm. Slash a reference to breaking bad because he's always wearing that damn hat.
SteveWell, I just assumed it was like a black hat hacker being a bad one versus a white hat hacker being like a hacker for good.
KitOh, I mean, maybe. I don't know. I interpreted it as like being his green goblin mask for sure.
MichelleAnd the regular hat is just regular. Matt is regular. Yeah. It does seem like there's some inherent evil in this other hat.
SteveThat's why I was thinking. I was like, Matt would never be a white hat because he's gotten too much uh evil in him. But I'd always assumed like the regular hat is like neutral, chaotic neutral Matt. And uh like the black one is again like because of the especially because we have the hacker episode coming up next. Like evil hacker, and then like yeah, so he's like normally at neutral and turned evil.
MichelleWhat's that James Spader show where he wears a black fedora? The blacklist?
SteveYes. Yeah, I always just accepted it as uh like the hacker terms, but I was like, is this a Venom thing, Kit? You're the expert.
KitHow am I the expert on Venom?
SteveOn Spider-Man 3?
KitOh. Oh, uh yeah. No, I mean it's definitely a Spider-Man reference. It's he's sort of like a choose your own, though, if it's Venom or if it's Green Goblin.
SteveHey.
KitHey.
SteveSorry about Venom. The greatest line of dialogue in history. My dear love Michelle Williams saying, hey, sorry about Venom. Anyway, just thinking about Michelle Williams.
MichelleUnderstandable. She's one of the greats, one of the best of us in the Council of Michelles.
SteveOh, do you guys meet like regularly?
MichelleUh, like every ten years.
SteveMichelle Obama? She show up?
MichelleShe's busy.
SteveSo, um, any other thoughts on the B Day?
KitHappy birthday, Jay. Happy birthday, Jay.
SteveHappy birthday, Seth. Oh.
KitCome on.
SteveOkay, happy birthday, Jay. You're a cutie pie. I think you're adorable.
MichelleDo we have um I think I think we might have a listener voicemail.
SteveI was about to say we have two listener voicemails. Whoa. Our first one, I believe, is coming from Caroline. Let's go ahead and play it.
SPEAKER_05Hey Nirvana the pod. This is Caroline. Uh, just leaving a voicemail to say, love your show. Thank you so much for making it and publishing it every week. Uh, I work late nights a lot, uh, and I live on the west coast of the US, which means that the timing works out pretty well, so that there's a new episode for me to listen to when I start working on Tuesday nights. Uh, and it's always such a treat. Uh, you guys match the warmth of the actual show so well, and I feel like I've learned so much about culture. Uh, maybe that's a funny way of saying it. Uh, but yeah, just want to say thank you so much for all the great work you do and hope you're having a great day. Hey, this is Caroline again. Forgot to add a question. Uh I was wondering if you guys have a favorite character besides Matt and Jay and Jared. Uh, so it could include just like somebody who appeared in the background or had like two lines in an episode, uh, who you think is especially funny or interesting. Uh I personally really like the Canadian tire guy and uh character named Ned, uh, who you might not have gotten to yet. Uh but yeah, curious to hear what your thoughts are. See ya.
SteveCaroline, that was so sweet. Thank you so much.
SPEAKER_11Thanks, Caroline. That was such a lovely message. Thank you.
SteveThey compared us to Nirvana the Band the show in terms of warmth, which really talked to my heart.
SPEAKER_11That's so nice.
MichelleSo kind.
SteveI'm sorry about whatever culture we taught you about, because if it was from me, it's bad.
MichelleAnd if it's from me, it's great. It is the Twilight films and Disney Channel original movies.
SteveAnd if it's from Kid, it's cool.
KitUh, it's fine. Godzilla's cool. It's got a monster in it. It does have a monster in it. Everyone should go see the new Godzilla movie. Thanks!
SteveGot my IMAX tickets, baby! Same. So it's Mary Hoho Lady, right? Oh, like I'm gonna be able to do that?
MichelleYeah. Um Mary Hoho Lady in my top three. Uh, but my answer to this question, Caroline, is Reed. Uh, both in his improv teacher form and in his um alternate universe mat form from the web series.
SteveGood call.
MichelleI love you, Reed. Shout out Reed.
SteveReed, you're great, but you're no Mary Hoho Lady.
MichelleWhat if Reed said Mary Hoho?
SteveI'd marry him.
MichelleHo ho. That would be great.
SteveCaroline, thank you again. That was so kind of you. Um We're glad you're enjoying the show. And if you're listening at work right now, I hope you have good benefits and a decent break.
KitAnd if not, just steal something. Steal so many things!
SteveMake yourself a super burger!
MichelleSteal post-it notes, pens.
SteveI heard a buzzing in the background, maybe a power drill. Ooh, power drill.
MichelleI'm thinking office job, but I feel like it there's a whole wide world of more exciting options. You could steal a um like a big forklift. Ooh.
SPEAKER_11That would be fun.
SteveGo on the run.
SPEAKER_11In a forklift, pretty slowly. And you can lift stuff. That's cool.
KitYou can lift the people chasing you. Yeah. That sounds great.
SteveI've seen battle bots. Those little flippers can do damage.
KitThat's true.
SteveHave you two ever driven a forklift? Because it's crazy.
MichelleI'm not certified, unfortunately. Not certified. Would not trust myself to operate a forklift. I did do it uncertified, but admitting to crimes on this podcast?
SPEAKER_11And you won't eat food off the floor?
SteveThat wasn't going in my mouth.
SPEAKER_11The forklift? Why not?
SteveNom nom nom.
SPEAKER_11It's kind of just a big fork. Think about it.
SteveI did almost get fired from my grocery store job for doing it though.
MichelleOperating the forklift uncertified?
SteveYeah. So it was like I could unload these pallets out of a truck using a forklift. Why not?
SPEAKER_11Uh-uh. Nope. That's dangerous. Illegal.
SteveI didn't say I never did anything dangerous. I just didn't eat food off the floor. Uh shall we listen to this voicemail from Connor.
SPEAKER_01Yes. Hello. It is currently 1 a.m. on a Monday. Uh, and I've just discovered that Lydia Tar is not a real person. I've been fully convinced this entire time uh that Lydia Tar was a diva in the world doing diva things. Uh and I mean I guess she is, but it in the movie Tar. I didn't I didn't know this at all. I didn't know about the Cloverfield Monster either. I'm learning so many things besides Nirvana the Band things, but it's it's it's been great. Keep doing it. Uh I am only on uh part one of the odds and ends stuff though. So there are more things to come that I will learn. But yeah, literally mind-breaking information. I thought Lydia Tar was real. Anyway, uh I should probably ask you guys a question. Um favorite album. Sure, that's good enough. Anyway, uh John Cena was also in Scooby-Doo, but in the like WrestleMania movie in 2014. Bye.
KitI love you, Connor. I don't think you needed to ask us a question. You you honestly, hearing you say that you have just discovered Lydia Tara is not real, that's all I needed.
MichelleRight? She is a diva in the world doing diva things. And she is real. And she is real.
SteveShe is Petra's father. She's a real thing.
KitBig orchestra is trying to tell you that she's not real, but she is.
MichelleShe's real in our hearts. Um I just just in a moment of solidarity. Um, when I first heard about the movie Tar and saw the trailer for Tar, I did also assume that it was a biopic about a real person. And uh did not learn until later that Lydia Tar might not be real. But it's okay because she is, it's fine.
SteveThere was more than one review published in real publications where the author was upset that they didn't let it be known that Tar was not a real person, even though she is.
KitI I feel like there should be like a Mount Rushmore of movies where this happened. It's like Lydia Tar, Marty Supreme, I feel like people thought was a real person.
SPEAKER_09Yes, yeah.
KitCan't think of any others, but those two were the big ones where people were like, wait a minute, these are fictional?
SteveDaredevil?
KitDaredevil?
SteveWell, people thought Blair Witch was real.
SPEAKER_11The Blair Witch is real. Those people died. They found that footage in the RIP Queen Woods or whatever. They wouldn't lie about that.
SteveShould I re-watch that?
KitBlair Witch, yeah, fucking rock.
SteveLike in a Cloverfield way or in a way I would agree with.
KitWell, you and I this year, I think it's been horrible for movies for us because we've disagreed on basically everything.
unknownYeah.
SteveThe Digger discourse in our Discord. You can see everything though. We all like that.
MichelleThat's pretty good. Yeah. I know that I know that Connor didn't have to ask this question, but since since they did, um What's everyone's favorite album?
SteveI thought on this for a while, and I was like, yeah, it's just Rylo Kylie is the execution of all things.
MichelleOh, it's a great, a great pick. It's my one kid do you have?
KitIt's really hard. Like, I mean, three cheers to sweet revenge, my chemical romance, obviously, but I also love and have been obsessed with D Loops and the Comatorium by the Mars Volta forever. So maybe either of those. I don't know if Connor you're looking for things to listen to, but both of those are great. I feel like if you are a Nirvana the Band fan, you are a My Chemical Romance fan, is what I'm getting from our Instagram. Is that you all love My Chemical Romance? So maybe try some Mars Volta on for size. Completely different. It's great.
MichelleI love I love that overlap. I guess it's not surprising. Um, but so nice.
SteveWhat's yours, Michelle?
MichelleUm The Twilight soundtrack.
SPEAKER_11It is a really good soundtrack. The Godzilla soundtrack?
KitOh, Godzilla 98 rocks.
SPEAKER_11Cursed, but rocks. Is that the one with the wallflowers? Yes. Song? Nice.
SteveAnd also uh the the brain Green Days Brain Stew remix, where it's just the song Brain Stew, but every so often you hear like in the background.
KitYeah, it's incredible. It's just Godzilla roars. 10 out of 10. Perfect soundtrack, no notes.
SteveI have it on CD.
KitI also have it on CD.
SPEAKER_11This is like maybe one of the more boring answers that a girl could have.
MichelleUm I it might be rumors. It might be Fleetwood Max rumors.
SteveIt's popular for a reason.
MichelleMm-hmm.
SPEAKER_09It's a it's a really good album.
SteveThis may be really going too off into the weeds. What were your two's metrics like uh of picking all-time favorite? Because I thought about this for hours, I won't lie.
KitFor me, Three Cheers is like the album that got me into music. It's my my chemical romance. We've talked about this before. It's like the cipher for everything else. But like for that that first Mars Volta album I listened to all the time, and I never get tired of it. Like I again, this is another album I listened to when I was a teenager, but I still love it so much.
MichelleI think for me it's it's uh like a sheer number of times listened, which is very, very high. Um, but rumors is specifically one where like I grew up in a house where Fleetwood Mac was on all the time, frequently. Um, and like my dad's a big music guy, he has like a room that is like just speakers, and he will sit in there and stare at the speakers and listen to music. Um, and rumors is one of the things that was on rotation for him. And so it was like background noise in my life growing up, and then much later when I was like independently learning how to like listen to and think about and appreciate music, I came back to it and listened to it with sort of my own brain instead of just this is what was in my house growing up. And I was like, oh, this is amazing. There's a reason that people talk about this and love it, and why it's like still a topic of conversation many, many decades after it came out. Um, and it has influenced a ton of other music that I love.
SPEAKER_09So I think that's why it's gotta be up there.
MichelleThere were like other more recent records that came to mind, but it feels like it should be one that is influential in a lot of other ways too. Steve, what did you think about what was your criteria?
SteveLunatic stuff. I needed to know every lyric to every song on the album. I needed to have been in a band that covered it, a song off that album.
MichelleOkay.
SteveAnd I need to listen to it at least once a year.
MichelleOkay.
SteveThose were my metrics. So that one won out.
MichelleLike did you see Rylo Kylie when they were touring this spring?
SteveI did not go to this last tour, but I did see them like three times before that though.
MichelleNice. I went when they were touring in the spring. Was this that this year? I think it was. Um, cried the whole time. It was incredible. But I think more adventurous is my personal favorite, Rylo Kylie. Apple Bum.
SteveI do love More Adventurous. I did also cover songs off that. We used to do Rylo Kylie covers all the time. Before we leave the music conversation, gonna go full fucking high fidelity on this one. Um we know MCR. Who just cause the listeners like our culture recommendations, we heard that on both these voicemails. Who's everyone's like favorite artists if you had a name? Fans or solo artists?
MichelleThis is maybe recency bias. Might be Phoebe Bridgers for me. I love her, I love her solo work, I love Boy Genius. Um I've been listening to Lost Weekend non-stop. Um, and I just think she's so talented. Love what she does.
SteveAnybody else for you, Michelle?
MichelleUm, I mean, this is I'm I'm having a moment where I'm having the thought, how have I ever listened to anything except the two things that I can immediately tell you? Lots of other classic music, uh like obviously Fleetwood Mac and um the Beatles, but that's not an exciting recommendation for anybody. Um big Dr. Dog fan is is probably my other like main rotation.
SteveHow about you, Kit?
KitI mean, we all know My Chemical Romance, but I think like my like trifecta for the most part was My Chemical Romance, Thursday, Circa Survive, which is really funny now because I loved these bands back when I was like 13, 14 years old. Now My Chemical Romance, Thursday and Circa Survive have formed a super group that I've not listened to. Um, but it exists. Um, and there's a significant overlap between these like three fan bases now, um, which is really funny to me. But those were like the the three that I loved the most growing up. Um, and then, you know, obviously I was a little goth kid, little emo, so like loved the cure. I saw Robert Smith live and it made my whole life significantly better for it. And yeah.
SteveNice.
MichelleUm, I will actually add one more to my list, um, also slight recency bias, but uh turnstyle, incredible, so great. They played a huge show at the Washington Monument this past weekend, um, and it was incredible. They're so great and fun live. And I was very, very, very far from the pit, but it looked like it was fun down there. I just didn't get to the show um three hours early to get in there, unfortunately.
SteveAmazing.
MichelleSteve, do you have any?
SteveRapid Fire, my all-time favorite band is Bad Religion. I said Ryl O'Keile, The Matches, Um, The Coup, Beach Boys, and David Bowie. Nice. It's a good mix. I had one emo band in there. Should be proud of me. The matches. They're an emo band.
unknownWow.
SteveThey only had three albums and then disappeared. Guys, it's been fun talking about music. It's been fun celebrating B days. Happy B Day.
KitHappy B Day.
SteveAnd we're coming up on the end, folks. Get ready to journey to this depressing black-hatted run. We got a couple more guests coming up. We hope you enjoy them. And uh, nothing like a good feeling.
KitNothing like a good feeling. Nothing like a good feeling.
SteveThank you for listening to Nirvana the band The Show the Podcast. We'd love to hear from you. You can email us or send a voice memo to Nirvanathepod at gmail.com. And we're also on Blue Sky and Instagram at NirvanaThePod. Our website is Nirvanathepod.com. Our show is edited by Kit with additional help by John. Special thanks to Anne Meadows for our logo. Oh, and Matt and Jay, if you're listening, we'd love to have you on the show.